It has been my experience that one of the keys to happiness in my business and in all areas of my life, is to be selective about what I allow into it. This does not mean I demand perfection - I only get to do that when I am perfect and I'm not holding my breath on that one.
However, life feels pretty short to me as evidenced by the fact that my daughter, who was born yesterday, is actually days away from being two and a half years old! So, I choose to fill what time I have with great people, motivated clients, wonderful friends and a whole lot of joy.
I do this by being selective. And, as someone who spent nearly 30 years being quite indiscriminate, I can tell you that the past 7 years of selectivity have been a whole lot better.
Still, changing your mindset takes work so I want to share some ideas that helped me transform my life instantaneously:
1. Pay attention to what you say to yourself. The words you say in your head have tremendous power. Be kind. Treat yourself like the beautiful, unique and wonderful person you are. Think of yourself as a child and never say anything to yourself that you wouldn't say to your son, daughter, niece or neighbor. The kinder you are to yourself, the more you will expect and demand that others treat you the same way. If you work with people who treat you poorly or you have friends or family in your life who are unkind to you, break it off or distance yourself from them as much as possible.
2. Protect your mind. I used to be a news junkie. I taught current affairs for several years so keeping my ear to all of the media stations was a habit. I watched MSNBC, CNBC, CNN, BBC, read the Economist, Newsweek, NYT, and scanned the Internet every chance I got. When I left that job, I dropped it all cold turkey. In fact, I'm pretty certain I didn't pick up a newspaper or watch the news for 6 months. The shift I experienced was amazing. I was so much happier, less tense and less worried. It had become such a habit that I didn't realize how negatively all of the noise, drama and conflict were impacting me. In fact, I thought I was being a great "citizen" by keeping up with every last development.
It's difficult to stay away from the drama of negative people, TV shows, the news and the Internet but the dominant side of your attitude is the one you feed the most. So, do your best to eliminate this type of negativity from your life. Go on a "low-information diet" for at least a week as an experiment. (Idea taken from Tim Ferriss's book The 4-Hour Work Week). See how much you can cut out and then evaluate what you missed (likely you will not miss a thing) and how much better you feel as a result of it.
That information alone may encourage you to look at it as a way of life instead of a just a temporary diet.
3. Replace negative with positive. It's not enough to just get rid of the negative. Fill that space with positive people, books, and activities on a daily basis. I know some people who work themselves to the bone all day and then come home and watch worthless hours of TV and wonder why they feel tired, depressed and anxious. Our lives are busy but sometimes we equate watching TV with doing nothing when in fact, it is impacting us unconsciously. So, try this experiment for the next week: Whenever you spend time with someone, read a book or magazine, watch TV, or participate in any activity ask yourself this question: Do I feel better or worse now? Did this activity produce feelings of joy and positive energy or am I emotionally exhausted, anxious, and/or more stressed than I was before?
4. When it comes to relationships, set your own rules of engagement. You don't have to put up with bad clients, draining friends and constant conflict with your significant others. If you are kind and generous and do your part to create positive and loving relationships, you deserve the same in return. If you are not getting it, change it. Fire your client, talk with your friend, discuss your concerns with your spouse or partner. Tell them how you feel, how you perceive your interaction together and what you need to feel good about the relationship. If it's worth saving, do whatever it takes to move forward with it; however, if it becomes clear that this relationship is going to cause you constant stress or anxiety, take care of yourself and get out of it as soon as possible so that you can place your time and energy on those people in your life that bring you the most joy.
The people who are most unhappy in this world are the ones who believe they are the victims. Life does not happen to us. We have control over what we do, what we do with the thoughts we think, and with whom and what we interact. Be selective with what you allow into your life and if you are unhappy with something, take control and change it. You deserve to surround yourself with love and joy and what is most important to you.
About the Author
Find out what storyteller you are dragging around with you at http://www.changingyourstoryblog.com. Melani Ward is a passionate entrepreneur: numerologist, online marketing strategist, lifestyle coach, writer, yogi and runner! She helps women entrepreneurs attract more ideal clients and make a lot more money doing work they LOVE.
Article Source: Content for Reprint
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