Monday, December 15, 2008

When You Ask 'Is That All There Is?'

by Dave Smart

With the stock market having lost some 40% of its total value in the last year, and millions of homeowners having lost their homes or about to, the doom-and-gloom has really gotten to many people. The song "Is That All There Is?" popular a few decades ago, sung by Peggy Lee, has prevaled on the minds of many. It has been vilified by some as being morally bankrupt and worse. But as is so often the case, its moral state is more complex than what can be summed up in a few words.

If that's all there is, then lets keep dancing. . .

What is it that we do when we dance? We have the opportunity to be open, to our internal selves and to the world about us. We could surround ourselves with deafening music and many do, or we could dance in silence or near-silence, so that we may hear our inner selves and the inner essence of the world about us. Yoga and dance meditation are among the options. When our goals seem hopelessly far off, our horizons are nebulous and we cannot "accentuate the positive" because we can see no positive, it makes sense to put ourselves in a listening mode. It is not easy, to be honest; it is much easier to just rant on and be a victim. But in being receptive, in living in the present rather than the dead past or the unknown future, lies the wisdom of this surprisingly wise song. Now to be true I would sidestep the "break out the booze" but, if you can experience "having a ball" you just might experience the positive you think you cannot see.

It may seem incongruous to suggest that a Bible story may align itself with this issue: the story of Noah. If you would accept that in the Bible stories are parts of ourselves: a part of us is Adam, a part is the serpent, a part is Noah. At the start of the story God finds all mankind hopelessly bad and morally corrupt. But in Noah He found the exception to that, and so He called him. More importantly, Noah was listening, notwithstanding that he probably felt similarly about the world of his time, and so heard God's call. If we do not listen, we will not hear His call. His call may be as simple as to give a person a heartfelt smile, a person desparately needing at that point of time a 'guardian angel'. Or it may be for something more ambitious. Probably not to the point of building an ark, but then- who knows?

When I was in Spain doing my Camino pilgrimage there were several instances where I was saved from serious trouble by a 'guardian angel'. In each case it was a total stranger who came forward with a combination of skill and compassion at just the right moment to avert a calamitious situation. To give just one example of many: one night I was lost in the city of Pamplona, looking for a particular pension(pilgrim hotel); it was a rainy night, but I didnt know just how lost I was. Although I was not thumbing a ride, a total stranger in a car asked me where I was going, who spoke English well enough that we could converse. When I told her where I wanted to go she told me that was several kilometers away, and in a direction different than what I thought it was. She gave me a ride to where it was; not only that but helped me find a pension that was open and willing to receive guests. She inquired at three places that she knew before she found one. Talk about miracles!

I know nothing about what this person was like elsewhere in her life, nor whether she consciously thought that she had been called upon to be a 'guardian angel'. But if anyone who has an 'ear to hear' could so be called, that person's moral state elsewhere in his life doesn't matter. For all we know, Adolf Hitler could have been called at some point in his life to be a 'guardian angel'. I wouldn't put it past God to do that.

Of course it is only common sense to reach out and plan to achieve our goals with daily and effective activity. But the time will come when we will feel defeated, without energy or ambition to go forward. We then have the time and opportunity to listen. Although we should always listen, at these times we have no excuse not to.

Knowing the parts of ourselves that listen

At TCM and SPT we study "voices", that is, parts of ourselves that have recognizable characteristics and are present, more or less, in all of us. There is the Controller, the Critic, the Cynic; and then there are archetypal voices like Earth Mother, Warrior, Aphrodite, the Crone. All of these voices are primarily expressive rather than receptive, that is, they are stronger at talking and taking action than they are at listening, although each of them can and do listen. There are other archetypal voices that are stronger at listening: there is the Judge, which can also be an analyzer and evaluator; there are various child-voices, and there are voices that listen to the spirit world. It is these latter that could and would hear calls to help and assist, create, be a guardian angel - or just give that heartfelt smile to a passerby. None of these voices are 'good' or 'bad' in themselves; it is our moral state that calls upon each of them to do good or bad things. It is always our choice what archetypal voice to step in to - a primarily talking voice or a primarily listening voice. But if you are to ask "is that all there is?", you had better be in a listening voice if you expect any kind of an answer.

Living with these different archetypal voices within yourself can be a daunting task at times - especially if times are tough. If sorting out your internal voices is confusing and challenging, coaching is for you.

Copyright (c) 2008 Dave Smart

Dave Smart, the lead coach at Transcendence Coaching and Mentoring, has had extensive experience in helping people identify their inner voice through coaching techniques like voice dialog and dream work. He has had extensive experience in helping people escaping from cults reestablish their values and self-worth. If you are confused by the different values of different parts of yourself, check out TCM's website: http://www.transcendencecoach.com

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Our Goals Are Achievable If We Stick To The Plan

by Fred Nicklaus

I spent my day at a horseshow with my daughter and my wife. Everyone who was there agreed that the show should have been cancelled because of the heat. Temperatures were 95 degrees in the afternoon and if it wasn't for the breeze that we were fortunate enough to have, it would have been completely unbearable for spectators, riders, and the horses.

I spent much of the day looking for shade under the trees on this farm. I even took some time to catch a nap on the cool grass under one of the tall oak trees on the property. Upon my waking from my little snooze I went to view the competition in the riding arena. I was treated to a demonstration of will by all of the riders present and it further demonstrated that our goals are achievable if we stick to the plan.

The goal was for every one of the riders to make it through a very tough day of above all normal summer temperatures and still do their best in the riding arena. Some were happy with their results and some may have wanted to do better, but all got on their horses and gave it their best even through the sweltering heat. The reward of riding in the show was far more important to these people than having to put up with the discomfort of putting up with the heat.

Many times we find that the goals that we set are often sprinkled with challenges and unforeseen difficulties. While going through the difficulties we may wonder why they have to happen to us, yet after the difficulty has passed, we often find that the difficulty actually added to the experience and gave us a better mix of stories to tell.

Difficulties and challenges almost always help us grow and appreciate the achievement of the goal more than if we would have been able to achieve the goal without some type of challenge or discomfort. It's when things become difficult that it's important for us to remember what the goal is and how important it really is for us to achieve it. It's at that time that we need to put our nose to the grindstone and our best foot and face forward to be sure that we can finish what we had set out to do.

Make the plan, work the plan,

Fred Nicklaus

For tips on raising more Rock Solid Kids visit www.ConfidentKidsCoach.com for free tips on raising your child to be a leader, and for the fitness training that will sky rocket your core body strength, check out www.CombatEnduranceTraining.com

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Friday, December 12, 2008

A Guide to Taking Action and Creating the Life You Want

by Stephanie Russell

There is a life out there with your name on it and it is beyond even your wildest dreams. I can barely express in words how much I want for you to love your life! I want so much for you to experience the sublime joy that is yours when your life is your own. I however, can't do it for you. Only you can take the actions needed for you to create the life you want.

This is your call to arms. It's time to take action. Complaints and excuses get you no where. The time is now. The world has gotten to a place where most people are too busy blaming the other guy to take responsibility for their own actions. The other guy didn't create your life, you did. If you don't like where you're at right now, choose to create something different. Here is your next step: take action.

Stop wishing. Stop complaining. Stop waiting for someone else to come along and fix your life. Start getting clear about what you want. Start believing that what you want is already yours. Start taking action that moves you in the direction of your dreams and goals.

If you knew how to create the life of your dreams already, you'd have done it by now. It's time to take a new approach and learn what you need to learn to live the life of your dreams. Find someone who has done what you want to do, someone who has what you want to have and learn from them. Read books from authors you connect with, go to workshops and seminars, hire a coach if you want to, or take a class. Do something.

Unfortunately, you won't wake up tomorrow and suddenly have all the knowledge you need to create the life you want just because you decided you want it. The world requires commitment on your part. Show the world that you want something different and that you will do what it takes to get there. If you want to get the attention of the universe than start doing something different. The world around you will wake up and take notice.

If you are sitting there thinking that what you want isn't worth the effort, think again. Think about what you want that would be worth the effort because that is the dream that you are meant to be living. When you tap into the desires within your soul that are aching to come forward, you will move Heaven and Earth to have those desires be your reality. Actually, Heaven and Earth will move for you because you are a rarity in the world.

Once you decide what you want, it's time to start changing your ways. In order to have something different, you will have to try something new. This can be uncomfortable for some people, and it doesn't have to be. Treat it like an adventure. With each new experience a path unfolds before you leading you towards the life you've always wanted to have.

So how do you know what you need to do differently to reach your goals? Well, you don't. You have the choice of learning from the experiences of other people, or through your own trial and error. Really you'll do a combination of the two. You may try something that worked really well for someone else and it isn't quite right for you. That doesn't mean that you can't have what you want, it just means you'll have to try something else. Learn and move on.

Go with your gut. I can't stress the importance of your gut instincts enough. If you feel drawn to a particular person, book, or seminar, go with it. That's not necessarily me, by the way. I'm a fit for some people and I'm not for others. That's how it should be. There are resources out there that are a perfect fit for you and that are exactly what you need. Look at what is out there and go with what feels right for you.

Get help if you need it. There are people out there who specialize in helping other people have what they want in life. There is a whole industry around it called coaching and there are all different kinds of coaching specialities. There is someone out there to help you. You are not alone. I can't stress this enough either.

I am a coach. I believe very strongly in what I do and in what other coaches do. Coaches are very valuable resources to their clients because they give you individualized attention. I strongly suggest that if you are feeling stuck and aren't sure what you need to do next that you look into coaching as an option. There is a coach out there that is a fit for you and will meet your needs.

If your unhappy in your life it's time to take action and create a life you are happy about. Every resource in the world is available to help you create a life that brings you joy. Your fairy godmother has retired, so it's time to take matters into your own hands.

Go to http://www.divinepathcoaching.com for your free 25 minute Having It All Coaching Session with expert life design coach Stephanie Russell and receive a personalized action plan for having it all. Spaces are limited so contact today.

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Wednesday, December 10, 2008

Mentally Tough

by Fred Nicklaus

Tiger could learn a whole lot of things that he should not be doing by watching a few rounds of me hitting a golf ball.

I started out pretty good and had my 18 year old son in the hole by two strokes after 4 holes but then the wheels came off of the bus. The 10 strokes that I had on the par 4 5th hole was the beginning of the end for the anti- Tiger. Final score Kirk 54 and me 64. That was a 9 hole score guys so don't get too excited.

Speaking of Tiger. Even though I'm not a golfer I always seem to find my way in front of a TV when Tiger plays in the major tournaments. I did the same this weekend and was treated to a highly skillful, unbelievably passionate display of golf by the world's number one guy.

This guy really has it. During the broadcast there was a short video about Tiger's dad and the things that he did to make his son mentally tough. At the very end of the piece Tiger's dad was talking about his son and saying that he told his son that there is no one mentally tougher. Boy and does it ever show.

I was in the Tampa airport and was listening to two guys laughing at the fact that Tiger rents a house for $50000 per week when he plays at Pebble Beach and then he has all of the furniture taken out and brings in his own furniture. These guys thought that it was ridiculous that someone would do that. Here's a few points that these two guys and so many others miss about proper mindset.

1. Tiger doesn't even blink at the $50000 price tag. The money isn't the big thing to him but the winning and the right mental state is. He even brings in his own furniture to make himself feel at home. It's all part of a winning environment

2. Winners have a system. Tiger Woods has not become the number one player in the world by random luck. Everything he does is planned in advance. You can be sure that his mental pictures are all about winning and seeing himself on the victory stand.

3. Tiger doesn't give a hoot about what others think about his winning formula. It works for him and that's all that matters. He is a champion for a reason. He prepares to be and then follows through on the plan.

All of us could learn from the tremendous mental and physical preparation that Tiger Woods demonstrates. His goals and his plan of action to reach those goals are very clear in his mind. He is steadfast in the pursuit of his goals and makes it a point to march forward everyday. Give some thought to what you are doing and willing to do to become the best that you can be. The lessons are all around us. We just need to take the time to look, listen, and apply.

Fred Nicklaus

For tips on raising more Rock Solid Kids visit www.ConfidentKidsCoach.com for free tips on raising your child to be a leader, and for the fitness training that will sky rocket your core body strength, check out www.CombatEnduranceTraining.com

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How to Receive What You Desire: Identify Your Sneaky Beliefs

by Marilyn Schwader

Ever wondered why you aren't getting what you desire, even when you think you are following the Law of Attraction?

One clue: Look at your "But" statements; they reveal your sneaky beliefs.

What are those? Let me give you some examples...

"I'd like someone who is physically attractive, intellectually stimulating, emotionally available, mentally stable, and spiritually expanding," I said with conviction and seriousness. Then I added, "But, I don't know if there's really anyone out there who has all of those attributes."

What do you think I got in relationships? Lot's of people who didn't have everything I wanted. Here's another...

"I want financial prosperity... But, money goes out faster than it comes in!" Guess what happens?

And another...

"I bring healthy, positive, and uplifting friendships into my life." What I added was, "But it's hard to find new connections."

Those sneaky beliefs are everywhere! Not just when saying affirmations, they often come up in conversations with others, in humorous things I say to myself, as passing thoughts.

What I say and how I think are part of my awareness, creating that energy, no matter how slight the thought is, or how frequently I might utter a statement about that thought. When the energy is there, the law of attraction does its work, effectively canceling out the affirmation that the universe wants to answer. Whether joking or serious, thoughts make up my belief system, even if I don't immediately realize they are a part of my thinking.

So, to be the container for what I want to attract in my life, I have to pay attention to what my real beliefs are regarding what I desire.

What are your "But" statements that are keeping you from being the container to receive your desires? I'll bet that whatever that statement is, you are seeing that instead of what you truly want in your life!

Awareness of what you are saying is the first step. The next step is to train yourself to say only what you want, and be very specific about it. The universe can't answer if it doesn't know what you really want. So if you are confused, get clear. Then focus your intention. The more focused your energy, the quicker you will see results.

Ask for what you truly want, then be ready to receive it. Stay focused on the positive and don't let those sneaky beliefs keep you from having what you truly desire.

Marilyn Schwader uses a unique blend of knowledge and experience with technology, e-commerce, communication, and spirituality to help her writing coaching clients create and market their work. To find more of her tips, resources, and a schedule of her webinars, teleclasses, and retreats, visit http://www.clarityofvision.com

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Tuesday, December 9, 2008

How to Stop Fear from Running Your Life

by hypnodeb

In these trying times, many are concerned about their jobs, investments and the future of our great country. According to the law of attraction, what you think about you create more of in life. Listening to the news and talking with friends and co-workers, your mind is constantly flooded with negative ideas, impending doom and the supposed sad reality of the current state of affairs. The subconscious mind is conditioned to react in these circumstances not out of faith but out of fear. To stop fear from running your life, you must become more conscious of your thoughts and where they are leading you.

If you allow fear to run your life, you can be pulled into darkness of your deepest anxieties and ultimately make unclear decisions. The fear will drive you to seek solace in money, food, mind-altering substances and other things of the world that can never bring you the salvation you desire. You will always be left wanting more, never satisfied and ultimately defeated. When you get to that point you may give up, become sour on life and disconnect from your spiritual practice. Fear has won.

You see, the fear was created because of your attachment to these worldly things. When doctors tell you that it is all in your head, they are right. Wanting things to be a certain way and in perfect order creates the upsets in your life when the opposite shows up. If you relied on money in the bank to feel secure, you are the one who creates the fear of lack when your 401K shrinks in half. Believing that one special person will make you happy creates the sadness when you are alone. You are in charge of your inner peace, and by letting go of the need for external situations to be different you can find serenity right now.

You may argue that you need a house and a job and food, how can you let go of the need for the things that sustain you and your family? I am not saying that you should not want a nice home, good income, health and family, my point is that just worrying about it does not change anything. Your thoughts create the panic about the situation which leads to more experiences that reflect those thoughts. When you let fear run your life, you ultimately draw more circumstances to you that mirror those fears. You can take action to improve your situation, and best results come when you hold your mind in the highest vibration of thought to attract what you desire. By doing this you can not only shift your destiny but attain a great feeling of inner peace during any conflict in your life. When your mind is calm and hopeful, your brilliance shines through and inspiration flows.

Challenges are a part of being human. Instead of looking at your situation as broken, see your circumstances as what you have to work with in this precious life. When you give up the idea that things are going to be ideal one day, you can relax in the uncomfortable times that every human faces. True bliss is surrendering to the moment. Knowing that everything that you identify as good or bad is temporary, you understand that this too will pass. I am not saying to just throw you hands up and let your whole life go to pieces, but use every obstacle as an opportunity to become stronger...fearless.

Think about a horror movie. At the beginning, they only show you the monster 's tail or shadow and it seems to be very frightening. Toward the end of the movie, after a dozen scenes of the monster in full view, you become desensitized and the creature seems less powerful. Just like any of our fears, when we just get a glimpse of a situation without examination, it can rule us. When you feel anxiety, ask yourself, "Why am I afraid?" or "What belief do I have that created this fear?" Once you identity the true root of your panic, smile at your fearful thoughts directly and stop allowing them to control you. By giving light to the circumstance and understanding that the source of your pain is based on a false idea in your mind rather than the actual event, you can become the master of your life.

About the Author

Debra Berndt is a Certified Hypnotic Love Coach, Host of The Love Coach Radio Show, and Author of the upcoming book, "Let Love In." Get free hypnosis download and her e-book on how to use self-hypnosis by signing up for her newsletter from her website at HypnoDeb.com

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Monday, December 8, 2008

Say NO

by Bryan Kavanagh

The number one thing you need to say no to is society itself! You need to say NO to the everyday 'socially acceptable' things that are definitely affecting your progress! I may recieve some hate mail on this subject but, this is what i believe, feel free to disagree.

Now this quote does not only relate to time management! It relates to your body too! I know it sounds cheesy but in order to attain and/or maintain a lean physique you must say NO to a few things along the way. Things that hold you back!

Society - The number one thing you need to say no to is society itself! Now I am not saying you sit on your own in your room and eat broccoli and do push ups all day, I am simply saying that you need to say NO to the everyday 'socially acceptable' things that, well shouldn't be socially acceptable! I am going to reveal MY views on the situation, feel free to disagree!

During my recent stay in Las Vegas I saw a lot of gluttony, stagnation and LAZINESS. I saw people in restaurants eating WAY TOO MUCH! I saw people getting taxi's from one hotel to the adjacent hotel! But the thing that stood out most of all was; I saw people on these small motorised bikes, Im not sure if they were expecially for shopping or if they used them for all everyday activity. I am not taking a cheap shot at people that are restricted to wheelchairs! But I am taking a shot at people who aren't restricted to wheel chairs and STILL use them! I think people using these Bokes is a stab at the people who are actually restricted and NEED them! They are 'able' to walk yet they don't! They'd rather eat a load of nonsense and get fatter day by day! I seen this a lot in Walmart actually but this one instance stands out in my mind! A woman who WAS overweight but by no means obese was in front of me at the till. Now in my innocence I merely thought she was unable to walk and was actually sympathising with her (and thinking how cool it would be to have a go of her motorised bike) but when she was loading the conveyor belt thing at the till she dropped one of the products. Now I, thinking she couldn't get the object (a tin of whipped cream if you're wondering), moved in to help her but before I could she JUMPED out of the motorised thing and proficiently SQUATTED down (technically perfect squat) and got the can of whipped cream! Now I have to admit I was ASTOUNDED! What the HELL was she doing in the motorised thing?! She had no problems walking or jumping even SQUATTING! I just didn't get it. I went silent for while, paid for my ridiculously cheap bag of broccoli and canned mushrooms (I was on a budget ok?!) and headed back to the apartment. I don't know. . I really don't. She didn't need the bike, she was well able to move and she perfectly mobile. No visible limitations! Since when did this become acceptable? This woman was able to use this bike and not one other person in the queue batted an eyelid!?

society has accepted laziness and obesity as 'OK' and what you have to do is REJECT it at every turn!

Peers

Now let's discuss your peers! You need to keep a close eye on these! I'm sorry and I know this prospect seems a little bleak but they love to see you fail. The abhor the fact you are dedicated to your training and nutrition (are you? or your at least trying aren't you!?) and it drives them crazy that they don't have the discipline. To them when you resist them fries and that 'super size' it OUTRAGES THEM inside. They would never EVER admit this! But to them every time they see you slip up or get a little injury they secretly (perhaps even subconsciously) love it! They love the fact, for that 'split second' you were no better than they are! Say NO to the fries, Say NO to the sugary cocktail, say NO to the CAKE! Haha ok you can have a bit of cake (only if its your birthday though).

'Other half' i.e. girlfriend, husband etc

Ah the other half, just think of all the positive talk you get from the other half 'ehh you belly's getting bigger', or 'oh, you used to fit in them jeans' these sort of things can actually be motivational . . I'm not giving out about these! But the popular; 'you'll only last a week in the gym, you quit again' is one to watch! It's cruel but it's TRUE. I'm not trying to split anyone up here, I'm merely trying to point out that sometimes you have to say NO, maybe just say it to yourself not out loud (to avoid an argument), but say 'Yes, maybe my belly is bigger, and my jeans are tighter but not for long and NO, I will not quit'

Food

Here's the good one! Food being placed on front of you, at parties or functions or whatever, the server knows no better but you do! Let's take the baskets of complimentary bread that is dumped on your table before a meal? NO! Do not give in! Even if your associates say 'its still warm' or 'its so fresh' do not give in! They know you don't want it! They are saboteurs! In fact my friend told me recently that after he started the new nutritional programme I prescribed His own mother (now I know she meant well) was trying to FORCE FEED HIM CAKE. Despite his repeated objections, she persisted! And when he continually refused she actually told him 'your not eating right, come on eat the cake' Ha, so now cake is right!? Ok I'm getting a little psychotic here but you ALL have been in that situation! Just say NO! Your abs will thank you!

Yourself

Your biggest enemy is yourself! It's REALLY hard to say no to yourself! YOU are the hardest person to convince! 'ah ill be training later so I can afford to have this big smelly take-away' NO. Or 'ah dark chocolate is good for you' NO. 'Ah few more drinks can't hurt' NO. 'Maybe just a small desert, ill start the diet tomorrow' NO. You will try convince yourself that the negative behaviour you are about to undertake is 'OK' for you. . Be sensible and say NO.

Copyright (c) 2008 Athleticbodysystem

Log on to http://www.athleticbodysystem.com for more information on lifestyle management!

You can follow Bryans Blog here and pick up small heath and fitness tips at:
http://athleticbodysystem.blogspot.com

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Sunday, December 7, 2008

Law Of Attraction: Mapping Your Manifestations

by Timothy Aaron Whiston

Law of attraction allows you to create anything you want in your life. But you won't be able to manifest anything if you don't first get clear about exactly what it is you want.

As superstar motivational speaker Zig Ziglar often says: "You cannot hit a target you do not have."

Think about it: If you don't have very specific goals for exactly how you want your life to be how will you apply the law of attraction to make your dreams come true?

If you simply state you'd like to "make more money" you may end up with an extra five bucks. You must get extremely clear about how much more money you want.

Of course the same is true if you want to lose weight, find a perfect mate, build a new home, etc. Don't settle for general, half-hearted notions. Be absolutely specific about what you want, down to the finest detail!

Here's a great exercise to help you fill in all the exciting details of your ideal life. Read through this article once, and then apply the suggested method for mapping out everything you'll use the law of attraction to bring into your reality.

Find a quiet spot where you can relax. Wait until you are very calm and comfortable to begin the visualization.

Then close your eyes and see yourself five years into the future. Create a crystal clear picture of what all areas of your life will be like at that time.

What kind of a home will you have?

Where will this home be located?

Who will live here with you?

How many vehicles are in the garage, and what kind of vehicles are they?

What are you doing for a living in your future movie?

How much money are you making at this time?

Get super-specific, and call forth the most vivid images you possibly can. See yourself enjoying every aspect of your life.

And don't stop with just the visual imagery. To really harness the power of the law of attraction you'll need to also engage your other senses. Allow yourself to hear the sounds, touch the environment around you, even smell and taste the things in your vision.

And most importantly focus on the strong, positive emotions that come with your imagined success. Feel the joy, peace of mind, pride, satisfaction, and excitement that come with accomplishing all the great things you see yourself having and doing in this visualization.

Don't leave anything out, and don't hold back. Put all your intention into building this picture of you enjoying the life of your dreams.

Really get caught up in the process, until you honestly feel like you are there, in your future experience. Then smile as broadly as possible and hold your smile for several seconds.

Enjoy this visualization exercise for five minutes, ten minutes, half an hour, as long as you want. You should feel genuinely elated afterwards.

At the end of your session, you can even take out a piece of paper and write down what you saw. This reinforces your mental imagery tremendously, as our subconscious minds tend to place serious emphasis on the things we write down.

Make time for the above practice as often as possible, but no more than once each day. And after only a few times you will develop a very deep connection with exactly how you want your life to be.

You will have no doubt as to what you want. And you'll live with the utmost confidence that your dream life is on its way to you.

Practice this creative manifestation mapping for six months and it will probably blow your mind. This is one of the most powerful and direct ways for experiencing the power of the law of attraction.

Quickly and easily discover how to use the law of attraction in every part of your life. Download the original law of attraction book today and begin living exactly the life you most desire.

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Friday, December 5, 2008

Letting Go of Your Have-To's

by Lea Houston

As I sat down to write this article my fiancé David called. He had just spent several hours in the 90' heat hauling and shoveling topsoil at a house he is selling.

"Well," he said after a few minutes, "It's really hot but I have to get back out there- I have to get it all finished this afternoon."

"Gosh sweetie," I said, "I'm just sitting down to write an article about Letting Go of Your Have-To's. Do you really have to do it?"

"No," he replied with remarkable good humor, "I want to."

"Would you please tell our listening audience," I asked in my best faux-radio-announcer-voice, "How do you feel when you shift from saying 'I have to' to saying 'I want to'?"

Thinking I might be pushing David's remarkable good humor a bit too much, I was relieved and impressed when he played along with me. He stoppped, took the time to feel the difference and replied, "It's a reality check.... I realize, oh yeah, I can't get way with that.... It's kind of a relief from an artificial sort of weight.... (Sigh) I can breathe a little deeper when I realize I am choosing to do it."

Do you ever notice the difference that one word can make?

I have to____________.
I want to_____________.

Fill in the blanks with anything you are going to do today and notice how different it feels to have to and to want to.

One of my clients recently realized that all day long she thought to herself, Now I have to go to the store, now I have to go walk my dog, now I have to go to yoga, now I have to go to get a massage, now I have to go meet my friend. She laughed as she told me, "I am retired, I can do anything I want to and I like everything I am doing but I think and talk about all of it like it is a hassle!"

Shifting to thinking and saying "I want to" made a big difference in her enjoyment- and sense of ownership- of her daily life. She is now doing the same activities but with a very different feeling inside and a different attitude toward those around her.

Notice when you say or think: I have to....

Ask yourself: Do I really have to?

No. Almost everything we do in life is a choice. Can you think of anything that you or anyone else actually has to do?

I believe it was Mark Twain who said the only thing a man has to do is pay taxes and die. Well, paying taxes is also a choice. There are consequences for not paying taxes but it is a choice nonetheless.

Why does it matter? It's such a little difference!

In becoming aware of the phrases "I have to" vs. "I want to" you are acknowledging your choice and you are consciously doing what you want to do or consciously choosing not to do it.

Sometimes we want to do something because of the consequences if we don't do it. That's ok. It's still really helpful to focus on the feeling of wanting to do it.

Have-To is energy sapping, dutiful, lead in your pockets. Want-To is light, enthusiastic and wind in your sails.

Have-To pretends to come from someone or somewhere outside of yourself. Want-To fuels you with your power of choice.

Life becomes easier and more fun when filled with Want-To energy.

This doesn't mean you should stop paying bills, taking care of your children, cleaning your house and going to work. If you really think about it you probably want to do those things.

Claim your power of choice and connect to your motivation. If you infuse your daily activities, with the sense of Want-To, your life will be better!

Sometimes noticing a persistent sense of Have-To is a reminder that it's time to make some changes, to choose to be creative and take action. Maybe there are times you really don't want to do something but you feel obligated. That's something to notice and to deal with honestly.

What subtle (or not so subtle) changes happen in your health, your relationships and your life when you shift from living like you Have-To to living like you Want-To?

It's only one word.

Little change. Huge rewards.

Transformational wellness coach, Lea Houston, MA, will help you create joyful health, vitality and well-being. Get her Free Special Report,
Let it Be Easy, and a free subscription to her popular e-zine, Self Care Celebration! rich with soulful and practical resources, tips and inspiration at
http://www.SelfCareCelebration.com

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Thursday, December 4, 2008

The Power of Beliefs & Positive Attitude

by Joel Yeo

Beliefs formed a big part of our lives. Successful people have always believed that they can be and will be successful in their life. Many of us have seen Michael Phelps won 8 gold medals in a single Olympic. That has created a history for himself. Many have envied his feat and the first thing in their mind will be, “Wow, how I wished I could be like him.” Have you ever wondered what could you achieve in your life? What will you do if you couldn’t fail?

In fact, anyone can achieve what they have wanted to achieve. It is about beliefs. Everyone is a born winner and we are the winner in our own lives. It is this belief that drives any individual to be successful in their own field. All successful individuals have strong beliefs in their lives and it is one of the bases for their success. If we had started to believe in our own self, the things that we can achieve will definitely give you a pleasant surprise.

Other than having a strong belief, it is the attitude that drives the individual to create their own history. The commitment towards themselves and the drive must also be present. Imagine having a strong belief in one self and having a poor attitude towards life, how would that individual turn out to be? One’s attitude comprises of the drive, the commitment and the desire to achieve their goals. If one has strong beliefs about the goals that he can achieve and he displays good attitude towards it, it would be no surprise to anyone that he will be able to achieve his goals.

Start believing in yourself that you can achieve your goals and with the right positive attitude, you will definitely be able to create the miracle that you have always dreamt of.

Joel has changed his life through the power of beliefs and positive attitude. He is a firm believer that anyone in life can achieve their dreams if they have the right method. Find out more at http://www.personalgrowthdevelopmentarena.com

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Wednesday, December 3, 2008

Don't Forget to Smile and Find the Joy

by David Brooke

The smile is step one. Not feeling it? Try. If it triggers tears, so be it. When you're done crying try it again.

See, your body is directly linked to your thoughts and feelings. Smile with your mouth, and your being responds with a smile's closest companion, happiness. The more you do it, the happier you'll be. Learn to live in gratitude and record all of the things that you are grateful for, in your gratitude journal every morning. The difference in your life will be astounding.

A smile is sort of a multipurpose tool. Not only does drumming one up improve your mood, it makes you more approachable. People see a smile as an open door for conversation, or just for a return smile. It means you're friendly.

Smiling through frustration or hard times signifies strength. It tells the world you can 'suck it up' when you need to. Even if you are being wronged, saying something is far more productive than pouting.

Finally, a smile is simple good manners.

Finding joy, while related to finding your smile, is by far the most difficult task. Look at smiling as step one in a long process of finding joy.

Look for beauty. It's there, you know. Your senses are recording devices, so it makes sense to record what's best in the world. Take note of an especially full bunch of grapes at the market. It's perfect, isn't it? Clothes on a line, your elderly neighbor's face, well-done graffiti, all these things hold beauty. Artists have been finding beauty in the every day since the dawn of consciousness. It's your turn.

Allow yourself small luxuries. Draw hot, scented baths to soak in. Take long walks in the park, or better, in the woods. Call a friend over for coffee and conversation. Decompress. It's hard to be joyful when you're stressed out.

Finally, find your path, your reason for being here. This seems like a huge step, but really, it's not. If you like doing something, do it. Doesn't matter if it makes you no money, takes up your spare time, or even if you're not so good at it. A sketchpad, a model train set, a bike ride or a trip to the museum can be worth a thousand prescriptions for antidepressants. Find yourself, and joy will follow.

Copyright (c) 2008 Brooke Consulting Co.

David Brooke, aka "The Brooker" has been a coach, speaker, and motivator for over 25 years. He specializes in coaching people to cope and manage the stresses of life by applying an "attitude of gratitude." To access his strategies on how to utilize your Daily Gratitude Journal, and re-energize your life, please visit: http://www.thebrooker.com

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Wednesday, November 12, 2008

Stress Management - 7 Coping Skills For Stress Relief

by Linda Hampton

Stress management is the controlling and reducing of tension that occurs in stressful situations. Everyone copes with stress everyday. "I'm SO stressed out!" - It seems like you hear it all the time from nearly every one you know . Most people are unprepared to deal with stressors that trigger feelings that can make us sick. Literally, sick.

The statistics are staggering. Research conducted by the National Institute of Mental Health has shown that anxiety disorders are the number one mental health problem among American women and are second only to alcohol and drug abuse by men. One in every eight Americans age 18-54 suffers from an anxiety disorder. This totals over 19 million people! Anxiety is the most common mental health issue facing adults over the age of 65. Treating anxiety disorders costs the U.S. $46.6 billion annually.

Health Psychology magazine reports that chronic stress can interfere with the normal function of the body's immune system. And studies have proven that stressed individuals are more vulnerable to allergic, autoimmune, and cardiovascular diseases.

Stress often prompts people to respond in unhealthy ways such as smoking, drinking alcohol, eating poorly, or becoming physically inactive. This causes damage to the mind and body.

There are 3 common types of stress:

Mini-stress - the annoying hassles of day to day life: - Heavy traffic - Cells phones with no power

Moderate-stress - the more significant day-to-day hassles that comes from deadlines and time pressures constraints - Project deadline at work - Holidays

Severe-stress - those events that are traumatic long term or permanent - Divorce or separation - Loss of job

Although there is no definitive answer to any of specific stressor you may experience, it's your coping skills that support your ability to manage stress.

Here are 7 coping skills to stress proof your life.

1.Know how to relax - find a quiet place, get comfy make sure your body is well supported. Breath slowly and deeply.

2. Eat right and exercise often - avoid caffeine and refined sugar, eat dairy products which may improve your mood. Make exercise a part of your daily life-even if it's only taking the stairs instead of the elevator or parking at the far end of the lot.

3. Learn it is OK to say 'no'. Often, many of us feel we have to say 'yes' to everyone, every time we're asked for help. You can't be all things to all people. You must first meet your own needs before you can truly give others what they need.

4. Take a mini-vacation from stress. If you can find fifteen minutes a day, or one hour a week if daily isn't possible, make a date with yourself. Schedule a walk around the block, lunch in the park, a sunrise or sunset alone, a bubble bath without interruptions.

5. Make time for yourself, your number one priority; once your own needs are met you will find you have more time for others. And you may find more pleasure in helping others when you don't feel that you must always put others needs before your own.

6. Go outside and enjoy Mother Nature. A little sunshine and activity can have amazing ramifications on your stress level and will enhance your entire outlook towards life. Your improved attitude will have a positive effect on everyone. Not only will you be less stressed, you will be healthier, happier, and more energetic; ready to face whatever obstacles come your way.

7. Have a good sense of humor. Be a resource to yourself. Try something new, learn to play again. Laugh. Laughter releases endorphins, chemicals in the brain that restore calm.

Stress management and how you cope with stress is part of your daily life. It's how you react to stress that makes all the difference in maintaining your health and well-being. Just like causes of stress differ from person to person, what relieves stress is not the same for everyone. You'll never completely get rid of stress, but you can learn to manage stress with coping techniques that work for you. I hope that I've given you some great ideas on how you can deal with stress.


Linda Hampton RN, MSN a wellness and stress management coach with over 15 years executive experience. Helping teams manage stress and meet goals. Would you like to learn stress relief techniques that get results? Learn how to dramatically improve your stress relief results by claiming your FREE 5 Part customized home study course at =>http://www.keytostressfreeliving.com/


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Tuesday, November 11, 2008

Helping an Alcoholic

by Patrick Meninga

How can we best help an alcoholic?

The best way to help an alcoholic is indirectly. This means that you do not try to control or manipulate them. Do not try to beg them to stop drinking. Do not threaten them or shame them or engage with angry arguments with them. None of these tactics work at all. At best these tactics fail outright. At worst they drive the alcoholic deeper into drinking and isolation.

So how can we help them?

The first idea for you to grasp in attempting to help the alcoholic is that they are eventually going to make a decision to change for themselves, or they will not change at all. But the important thing for you to realize is that the decision must come from them. You and everyone else cannot make that decision for them. Not you, not the police, not a judge, no one.

The second idea for you to grasp is that this decision that will eventually be made by the alcoholic will be motivated by pain. Unfortunately this is the way it has to be. The alcoholic will finally decide that they have had enough pain and misery in their life and decide it is time for change. This is the only motivation that works. You could promise them a life of paradise if they quit drinking and this will do nothing to motivate them. The motivation has to come from pain and fear and misery.

Given these two ideas, you should be able to see where this is going. The most important thing for you to concentrate on in attempting to help an alcoholic is that you should never try to deny the alcoholic of their pain. The alcoholic is trapped in a cycle and experiencing pain and misery on a regular basis and your job is to step out of the way and let them endure that pain. For example, if an alcoholic gets loaded on the weekends and can't make it to work on Monday morning, they might lose their job. Let them. Do not attempt to cover for them or help them to keep their life held together. This is part of their pain and you should not deny them of it. Doing so will keep them drinking. Let them experience their pain and they might just sober up some day.

This does not mean that you have to actively inflict pain on an alcoholic. Nor does it mean that you should try to get them in trouble or set traps for them in any way. The alcoholic can screw up their life just fine without any help from you. And that is the whole point: "without any help from you." Stop "putting pillows under them" and let them fall on their face. Do not enable them in any way. Do not do things for them if they could have handled it while sober. Do not make exceptions for how you help them because they are drunk.

Don't bail them out of jail.

Don't call in sick to work for them.

Don't give them money. Ever.

Even if they need money for their kids or something, this is more manipulation on their part. Don't give it to them.

Understand that this has nothing to do with "being mean." Doing these things is not mean at all. You are not depriving them of anything. They are an out of control drunk and their demands are unreasonable. Why should you have to bail them out of jail? They don't bail you out of jail, do they? Their drinking is no excuse for being in jail. Their drinking is no excuse for missing work.

Stop making excuses for them and stop rescuing them. Over time they will be forced to face the consequences of their drinking and this will eventually lead to change. It is a long hard road but unfortunately it is the only way.

Want to learn more about how to help an alcoholic? Visit

http://www.spiritualriver.com/

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Thursday, November 6, 2008

What You Think is What You Create

by Nisaandeh Neta

Creativity requires courage and is therefore avoided by the majority of people.The creative process cannot take place until you are willing to let go of what you presently have and replace it with something new.

Often it requires confronting what you are currently holding on to (e.g. an unfulfilling relationship or an unfulfilling job), choosing to leave whatever it is, and then moving into a temporary void or chaos.It is only then that sufficient space is created, allowing a new vision to begin taking form.

Most people lack the self-esteem, confidence and courage to pass through this experience of nothingness.Instead, they seek to avoid creativity and passively wait for the next predictable experience or event to happen in their lives.

People all over the planet are waiting. Waiting for their parents' approval, waiting for their boss to give them a pay rise, waiting for their lovers to bring them into a blissful orgasm...Waiting, waiting and more waiting...

At a first glance it seems that 'waiting' is harmless. But whilst those in waiting complain, whine and make excuses - they infect others with their apathy, disgust and general avoidance of contributing to the planet. Instead of participation, they simply suck off those who choose to create, complaining that 'they' have all the power, influence and fun.

The bad news is that most of us, at some time, suffer from this 'waiting' illness.

The good news is that we all can change, and do it differently, if we are willing...

Willing is a key word.

It is what creates the energy and courage to create.

Wanting, by itself, just isn't good enough.

In other words, wanting a better job, a loving relationship or a healthier body doesn't create them.

Being willing to have them is what creates them.

Being willing moves you beyond your limitations into greatness.

Wouldn't it be nice to be able to simply point your finger at an empty space in your room, whisper a magic word and...POOF... whatever you ask for is suddenly manifested?

Manifesting is the magic of transforming a thought into a physical reality.

And you are capable of manifesting!

Actually, this is how everything, both positive and negative, in your reality is created.

Birds fly, fish swim and humans create. This is our nature.

Let's take this chair that you are sitting on. Someone had to think about it, design it and create it. First there was the thought, only later there was the chair. You also had first to think, "I need a chair" before you went to the shop, looked around, chose and finally purchased the chair. First there was the thought, only later, the chair...

Whether you are consciously or unconsciously creating the thought, you are the cause and therefore the creator of your life.





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Wednesday, November 5, 2008

Professional Improvement Plan - Eliminate these Seven Deadly Habits

by Annette Estes

This may sound like a mix of the 7 deadly sins and Steven Covey’s 7 habits, and maybe it is.

People are beginning to realize that what happens in their lives comes from inside rather than outside ourselves. If we’re struggling, it’s because there’s at least one area of our lives in which we’re out of integrity.

So here’s a list of 7 habits to eliminate if you want to move forward and achieve more success and happiness.

Procrastination. The Scarlett O’Hara “I’ll do it tomorrow syndrome.” Why do we put off doing what we believe we should do? Maybe the fact it’s a “should” could be one reason. Ask yourself why you should be doing this. Is it because someone else or society thinks you should? Not a good enough reason. If it’s something you feel you need and want to do, even if it’s a chore, then putting it off only causes stress. Do it, delegate it, or dump it. Lord Chesterfield said it before Nike condensed it, “No idleness, no laziness, no procrastination; never put off until tomorrow what you can do today.” Overcoming procrastination is tough, but not impossible. Do just one thing today you’ve been putting off and you’ll feel better.

Wasting time. This may be either a cause for procrastination or a result of it. It’s not always a bad thing. When we’ve worked hard, we deserve down time and if vegging out is what feels best, then do it. What I’m talking about is a habit of wasting time rather than living up to our responsibilities. Benjamin Franklin said, “Remember that time is money,” and aren’t we good at wasting both at times? The difference is if we waste money, we can earn more. Wasted time is gone for good.

Blaming others. Who’s standing in your way of getting what you want? Your parents, siblings, boss, co-worker, the government? If only he wouldn’t or she hadn’t or they didn’t is a game we can’t win. People treat us badly sometimes. They don’t do what we want them to do. And we do the same to them. Is it your fault someone else didn’t succeed? No, and it’s not their fault you didn’t. Jean Paul Sartre said, “…we are responsible for what we are.”

Judging others. I believe this is a root cause of most of our troubles in the world. It is an irrefutable law of nature that what we give out, we will get back. So the Golden Rule isn’t a demand of what we “should” do. It’s a beautiful way of expressing how to live if we want to reap rewards and justice for ourselves. “Judge not” may be the best advice we’ve ever been given.

Making excuses. Okay, I’ve got two puppies. Maybe the dog did eat your homework, but you can only get away with that one once. People see through excuses and don’t respect those who make this a habit. Remember, everything we do is a choice, so best to own up to our failings and then not repeat them. Shakespeare had a good take on it in King John, “And oftentimes excusing of a fault doth make the fault the worse by the excuse.”

“Yeah, buts.” One time someone was coaching me and I was being stubborn in accepting her observations. She finally said to me, “Do you realize you’re saying ‘yeah, but’ a lot?” I hadn’t, but it helped me for her to point it out. A friend of mine once had this expression on his vanity license plate. It’s so annoying to try to communicate with someone who “yeah, buts” everything we say. It indicates a negative, pessimistic outlook and who wants to be around people like that?

Negativity. Which brings us to the last and perhaps deadliest habit, the one that may be responsible for all the others. A habitual negative attitude is the sure way to fail. I’m talking of seeing the bad in people or situations rather than the good, expecting failure, fearing success. Negative self-talk is perhaps the worst thing we can do to ourselves. We do become what we tell ourselves we are. As Henry Ford advised, if you say you can’t or you can, you’ll be right. Work on managing and minimizing negativity if you want to be happy and successful.

Make it a habit to be kind to yourself. Work on self improvement and realize we’re all doing the best we can, even when we know we’re not.

Want tips on improving your relationships? Order the author’s ebook, Why Can’t You See it My Way? Resolving Values Conflicts at Work and Home at http://www.resolveconflictnow.com Annette Estes is a Certified Professional Behavioral and Values Analyst. Contact her at http://www.CoachAnnette.com ©2008. Annette Estes. All rights reserved.

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Tuesday, November 4, 2008

Unplug from the World, Often

by Weston Lyon

I know this may sound counter-productive, but getting away from your work can speed productivity and effectiveness. When we try to get more done, we stress-out and push, push, push. Instead, try unplugging from the world and relax.

When you relax and unplug (as often as possible), you're able to be more creative. You're able to see the forest through the trees. You're able to flow instead of struggle.

I know you want to go-go-go! But learning to relax and let go, and allowing yourself to unplug will help you get more done in less time. Here are some strategies I use and how you can too:

1. Vacation

Everyone loves to go on a vacation. Unfortunately though, most people view going on vacation as a once a year adventure.

This doesn't have to be the case. In fact, I suggest you don't go on vacation once a year. Instead, plan one big vacation every year with mini-vacations in between.

Here's what to do:

- Choose 4 places you want to go.

They don't have to be far away. They just have to be places you want to go. For instance, you can go to a hotel across town; you can go to the closest amusement park; or you can go to the closet ski resort (or beach if you prefer).

- Open up your calendar and block out 4 weekends over the next 12 months.

It's important to block the time for these mini-trips right away. That way you know when you're going. Also, block the time to go every 3 months. This will keep you moving forward without burnout.

- Book your flights and/or any other arrangements.

Yes, book your arrangements NOW! Make them non-refundable, so you don't back out last minute. You deserve these mini-vacations, so don't wimp out because something comes up...remember, you're important too!

2. Meditation

Meditation is wonderful. Over the past 12 months, I've started meditating on a daily basis. And in that time frame, my business has doubled and my productivity has quintupled.

Has it all been from meditation? Probably not.

BUT, one, why mess with a good thing? And two, meditation has brought me to a place in my life where my work just flows.

Things get done quickly and with less effort. Projects materialize in days or weeks instead of months or years. Life is all around just easier.

That's what I want for you. So, here's a meditation to get you started down the path of being more productive, of making more money, of living an easier life, and whatever else YOU want:

- Sit down in a quiet place and turn off ALL phones, cell phones, crackberries, or anything else that goes buzz, beep, or sings songs.

- Set a timer for 5-10 minutes. Your cell phone works great...just put it on vibrate so you don't jolt your mind.

- Take 5 deep breathes from your diaphragm. This will help you clear your mind.

- Now, as you continue to breathe deeply, let your mind wander.

Don't think of anything in particular...just let go and allow thoughts to flow in and out of your mind without trying to grab any of them.

If you catch a thought by accident and start focusing on it, relax and just let it go when you catch yourself doing this.

- Congratulations! You just meditated. Nothing to it!

3. Massage

Receiving a muscle melting, mind-numbing massage lets the world pass you by...just for awhile.

Massage has a plethora of benefits. Two of the most exciting benefits when it comes to enjoying this simple pleasure are, one, stress dissolves and you can finally relax; and, two, your muscles "let go" and any tension melts away.

Getting a massage isn't hard to enjoy. However, here's a list of techniques I use to move my massage time from enjoyment to pure bliss. When receiving a massage:

- Practice breathing deeply from your diaphragm. This will allow your body to relax and your muscles to "let go".

- Imagine your muscles melting into the table. A good imagery technique is: think of your muscles as ice; and as your massage therapist presses into your muscles, they melt into the table leaving soft water instead of hard ice.

Don't think. Just relax and go with it. This may be hard at first, but the more massages you get, the easier it will become.

4. Exercise

Exercise produces endorphins in your body, which make you feel like a million bucks. Exercise also challenges you physically and allows you to forget about your worries, troubles, and problems.

While there are many exercise styles, 3 excellent styles of bodyweight exercises to help you unplug are Yoga, Calisthenics, and Tai Chi.

Here are some techniques to keep in mind while exercising:

- Breathe - keep your breath as steady as you can throughout the exercise. The more breathing you do, the more beneficial the exercise is...and as a bonus, the more fat you burn!

- Focus - keep focused on the muscles you're working. The more focus and intent you're able to put on our muscles, the harder they work...and the less you think.

- Relax - keep your body in a relaxed state. Yes, you're going to be moving, sweating, and exhausting your body; but keep relaxed and without tension or stress.

5. Walking

Yes, walking is a form of exercise, but, in this case, I'm talking about "slow walking". Slow walking is like a moving meditation. It will loosen up your mind, while allowing your blood to flow.

After a slow walk, you'll feel calm, yet energized. Carefree, yet aware. Slow walking is different from regular walking because you're not doing it for the exercise. You will be exercising your muscles during this type of walk, but that's not the purpose.

The purpose is to meditate while walking. Here's a simple technique to use:

- Start by walking at your normal pace. Preferably outside in nature, but a treadmill or indoor track will do if need be.

- Now, slow down your walk as if you are contemplating every step.

- Listen to the birds chirp and the grass grow. Clear your mind and let your thoughts wander.

- Walk for as long as you'd like without any real purpose but to let go and be one with god and nature.

Okay, so what makes all of this so special? How will this allow you to get more done?

One, you're learning to relax. And in today's fast-paced, all-go-no-stop world, you need to relax. Two, you're teaching your mind to stir up creative juices when you're relaxed. The more creative juices flowing, the more you can get done in a shorter period of time. (Most people take time to think about what they want to do instead of just letting it flow.)

You see, your subconscious mind works better when you're relaxed and NOT thinking. Let your subconscious mind do its thing and you'll reap the benefits of exploding your productivity and effectiveness!

Copyright (c) 2008 Weston Lyon

Weston Lyon is the nation's leading expert on helping crazy-busy entrepreneurs have it all - family, business, and fun! For more information and to receive over $188 in FREE gifts go to http://www.CreatingAnOutstandingLife.com

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Monday, November 3, 2008

Fall - Time to Change YOUR Leaves

by Denise Ryan

Fall is one of my favorite times of year—the temp starts dropping, the air gets crisp, the trees put on a glorious display of color—I love it! I also think it's a great time to drop what's not working for you. If trees can let go of every leaf, why can't we let go of what no longer serves us? Here are some possibilities: excess weight, too much clutter, bad relationships, bad habits, bad debt. Just how long are you planning on carrying those dead leaves around? And you know that you can't grow any new leaves with those dead leaves blocking all the sunshine.

I know what I'm asking you to do is hard. I'm asking you to change what could be lifelong patterns of behavior. I know it is not easy. But here's the deal—continue on your current path and your situation will only get worse. The latest statistics on obesity are shocking—in less than 8 years, 75% of Americans will be overweight and 41% will be obese! We are turning into a nation of fat people. Why? Because of our habits—we eat too much, we exercise too little. Think you're heavy now? Guess what, unless you change those leaves, you're going to be a whole lot heavier in eight years.

I just put together a seminar called "Kicking Your Own Buts" on how to change this type of behavior. I studied different methods of change and researched changing the most difficult behaviors—addictions' to see if there were lessons for the rest of us. There were:

1.) Know thyself. Truer words were never spoken. You know what is going to work for you and what isn't. If you've been a night owl for 40 years and hate exercise, getting up at dawn and running is not going to work for you. Craft a plan you can live with. Forever.

2.) Oh yeah, baby—we're talking forever. The deal is not the change itself—most alcoholics are great at quitting. It's the staying sober part that's hard. Dieters can lose weight—they're good at that—it's keeping it off that's hard. If you can't do it forever, it's no good.

3.) You have got to want to change for you. I watched many, many episodes of A & E's series Intervention and only those who really want to get better have a chance. Most bail out as soon as their family is out of sight. Change is hard as hell—if you don't really want to do it for yourself, don't bother trying.

4.) Try Kaizen. Kaizen says take tiny steps. I did this with my backlog of e-mail. I have serious perfectionist issues—if I can't do it all and do it right, I'll put it off. (See #1) My inbox was getting to be a nightmare. E-mail needed to be deleted or filed or dealt with. Then I tried Kaizen—I would just aim to have 10 less in the inbox at the end of each day. Then I went to 25 less, etc. I got through the backlog and now have a cap (no more than 50) that can be allowed in my inbox at the end of the day. You can do this with anything—walk in place for 5 minutes while watching your favorite TV show. Build up gradually. Leave one bite of food on your plate. Kaizen is all about taking small steps to change. You've been practicing your bad habits for a lifetime—stop expecting to change them overnight!

5.) Get smart. Dean Ornish observed that even when told if they did not change they would DIE, heart patients did not change their eating and exercise habits. He discovered that doctors were just telling patients to exercise and lose weight, not telling them how to do it. You have to learn about whatever change you are trying to make. Many of us eat without really paying attention. I noticed my jeans feeling a little snug and realized the scale was moving toward my—OHMYGOD weight. So I started writing down everything I was eating. Everything. A cookie here, a piece of candy there, a roll at lunch—it adds up faster than you realize. Start writing. All I want you to worry about is calories. Do you even know how many you need JUST TO MAINTAIN your current weight? Find out ASAP if not—go to mayoclinic.com and look under health tools for their calorie calculator. Don't lie about how active you are. The number you get (maybe around 2,000) is all you should eat if you don't want to gain any weight. I'm not talking about losing—I'm talking about staying where you are today. Guess how many calories are in one slice of P.F. Chang's Great Wall of Chocolate cake? One piece = 2,000 calories. Wake up! Look at serving sizes. You may think a bowl of your favorite cereal has only 70 calories. But that's for 1/3 cup and you've been pouring a bowl of two cups (420 calories). Knowledge is power. Ignorance is not bliss. In this case, ignorance is obesity. Apply the knowledge plan to any change you want to make. What you know now is clearly not enough.

6.) Ask for help. We Americans are tough and we believe we have to go it alone. AA and other programs work for people because they give them a support group. Ornish found in his work with patients that if they had others to offer them support, their efforts at change were much more successful. This could be a mentor, a therapist, a family member, a friend or a teacher. There are also thousands of groups on the Internet—just search and see. Having other people trying to make the same change as you are supporting and encouraging you can be a huge help. The key here is fit—it has to be a person or a group you are comfortable with and you trust and respect. Change is hard, but it's much easier if you have some support along the way.

A tree is not its leaves any more than you are your habits. Have the courage to let go of what's not working. Nothing says fall like the smell of burning leaves.

Denise Ryan, MBA, is a Certified Speaking Professional, a designation of excellence held by less than 10% of all professional speakers. She is a blogger http://motivationbychocolate.blogspot.com
Her website is http://www.firestarspeaking.com

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Saturday, November 1, 2008

How to discover your NEW LIFE

by Dorothy Tannahill Moran

If you are past 40, a phenomenon will take place (if it hasn't already) where you will wake up one day and wonder "What's next?" This time of questioning has become fondly called a mid life crisis. I don't think this mid life question needs to be a crisis, but as a society that loves to ignore the obvious, you will have a major shift in your mid life. How you choose to handle it, will determine if it turns into a crisis or not.

The reason why this "something" happens in your mid life has to do with a number of factors. One factor is the normal course of events that take place in a person's life. You finished school, launched a career, married, had a family, bought a house and added to your financial burdens. You gained momentum along the way and received promotions, upgraded to a nicer home and maybe have the kids in college. These are the things our first major adult dreams are made of. When you more or less have them checked off your to-do list, the natural reaction is to wonder what the next big thing is in your life.

Another factor for this shift at mid life is that now we are the well seasoned life travelers that we are, we also shift from "having" to "being". Having is mostly about having something in your life, like I mentioned above. The "being" part is now about what kind of person are you being or becoming. This concept is a bit trickier to grasp, so stay with me on this. Being is a verb in this instance. Being is about you BEING a more loving person and wanting more out of the relationships, or enjoying the work you are doing. It's at a more visceral level within a person and not always so easy to identify. That's how the crisis comes in. That's when the guys hit on the young babes and the red sports cars and the women dye their hair. Clearly, not complete lists of reactions, but hopefully you get the idea. I will separate out the concept of how to identify what these signals are from how NOT to react.

These subtle, internal signals may come in several forms, but often times have a theme of "I want more out of my life" or "I need to find my purpose". Also, don't get hung up on the statements, I'm trying to portray a concept. What is taking place is an urge for something else, to pursue something bigger than yourself, more meaningful than what you're doing right now. You might start experiencing a sense of dissatisfaction. At first, this sense may make you feel restless and unclear about your life on many levels. We don't talk about these feelings or urges and certainly our society doesn't talk openly about them, other than the mid life crisis jokes. The feelings come first, which sparks off a period of self examination. It is through this period of self examination where things go really well or you become a cliché'. The process you must and will go through isn't a quick one, so you don't rush it. It is the catalyst for change, so you must embrace it, in all its glorious discomfort. Use this process to do your personal research. Read books enroll in classes, travel, and jump into life. Talk to people who do things that interest you. This is a rediscovery of yourself and you won't find it by watching TV.

There are some things to avoid during this period. As I said, you don't want to turn into a cliché'. Many people take this period of discomfort as a signal that their relationships are bad. So, they dump the one they're with and head off to the next thing that looks fun. They might make a big fun purchase like a car. These actions are heading you in the wrong direction potentially. They are replacing the "having" part of life, so they will never satisfy you, which could trigger even more desperate measures. Like it or not, you have to go through that internal self examination, if you don't, you rarely move forward in an exciting, meaningful way. You could stay in a loop of meaningless actions followed by personal dissatisfaction. These people will ultimately calm down to a degree but on the other side of it they keep a cynical outlook or a general sense of dissatisfaction. You can avoid this; life is and can be even more exciting on the other side of this change.

Here are my pearls of wisdom on mid life change. Know that it will happen to you, whether at 41 or 59, it happens to us all at different times. Because of where you are in life, it can move you in directions that can exceed your wildest imagination. No, the younger crowd hasn't cornered the market on excitement. We have much more freedom - fewer hang ups. Be patient with yourself and the process for change. Nothing great was accomplished over night. Learn to dream all over again.

Copyright (c) 2008 Dorothy Tannahill Moran

Dorothy Tannahill Moran, change,transition and retirement coach http://www.nextchapternewlife.com dorothy@nextchapternewlife.com call: 503 6219642

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Thursday, October 30, 2008

The Seven Principles for Making Relationships Work

by Catherine Auman

The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work (Crown, 1999) is a book that I often recommend for people who are wishing to improve their relationships, married or otherwise. The author, Dr. John Gottman, actually hooked couples up to electrodes and watched what happened to their blood pressures and heart rates while they talked to each other. He found that he could predict with 91% accuracy whether their relationship was slated for the long term or headed for break-up.

Dr. Gottman found that even happily married people have screaming matches; the difference is in the way they argue. What is death to a relationship is treating your partner with criticism, contempt, defensiveness, or refusal to communicate.

Dr. Gottman's seven principles are:

1. Enhance Your Love Maps

Find out what works with your partner and do more of it.

2. Nurture Your Fondness and Admiration

Focus on what you like about your partner rather than their faults.

3. Turn Toward Each Other

Instead of Away One of the most destructive things you can do when things are going through a rough patch is to isolate and go off by yourself, leaving your partner alone to imagine the worst. Dr. Gottman found that couples with good relationships stick with their partner and turn toward each other seeking solutions to their problems.

4. Let Your Partner Influence You

Dr. Gottman identified this as especially challenging for men: letting their partners influence them to share more vulnerability, to talk more about their feelings, and to not need to be in control all the time.

5. Solve Your Solvable Problems

Dr. Gottman says that 69% of the problems in any relationship will never be solved, so it is good to focus on the 31% that can be. Pick your battles.

6. Overcome Gridlock

Get whatever help you need to keep problems from backing up.

7. Create Shared Meaning

Examples of this would be to create new rituals around holidays and vacations.

Happily married people live an average of four years longer than those not so blessed, and have been shown in test after test to have healthier immune systems, less chance of getting sick, and higher scores on happiness measures. To learn more about what you can do to improve your relationship, I would recommend this book to anyone. It is easy to read and has practical advice you can put into practice immediately.

© Catherine Auman 2008

Catherine Auman, MFT is a spiritual psychotherapist based in Los Angeles, Calfornia. She has advanced training in both traditional and alternative methodologies based on ancient traditions and wisdom teachings. Visit her online at http://www.catherineauman.com

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Wednesday, October 29, 2008

Dealing with Difficult People at Work and at Home

by Beth Banning and Neill Gibson

Do you find yourself, all too often dealing with difficult people? How do you deal with it when a storm of angry words starts coming your way? Do you feel physically ill when dealing with an difficult war angry person? Do you wish you could just disappear, or snap your fingers and make them go away? Or are you the type who becomes angry right back at them? Don't worry, these are normal symptoms in response to someone else's anger; dealing with anger is indeed stressful, isn't it!

The good news is that it doesn't have to be...

Believe it or not, some people don't let it bother them. They just remain calm and peaceful when faced with anger and upset. Wouldn't it be great to understand what they understand? Well now you can! Here are a few simple tips that will help you breathe easy the next time you must deal with an angry person.

Often times when we realize someone is upset the first thing we do is take things personally. We believe that the only reason they'd be upset--and telling us about it--is that it must be about us. The very first thing to understand when dealing with these situations is that it's all about them, not you!

I know what you're probably thinking: "There's no way I can't take it personally when I have this person yelling at me and throwing accusations in my face!"

There's no question that this will be difficult at first, but when you understand this one thing it becomes much easier to avoid taking these things to heart: Every statement you hear someone say stems from a deep and innate desire to fulfill their needs or to support something they value. And you probably do the same thing - its typical human behavior.

Absolutely Everything = Needs and Values.

For instance, someone who is upset may simply have a need for consideration, or they might really value dependability. By getting upset, they are trying to fulfill these needs or honor what they value.

As an example, let's say that an angry person met with Gandhi (if he were alive). And the first thing he says to Gandhi is, "You have no idea what it means to suffer or face difficulties in life. You have people helping you with every daily task you do! You're such a fake!"

Can you imagine Gandhi responding to this as some people would-- defensively, with anger and critical words? "I'm a fake? Why don't you try walking one day in my shoes... you wouldn't last a minute. You selfish little man-- I bet you don't even work for a living, you probably just go around telling everyone else how lazy they are!"

We can imagine where this conversation would end up!

It's difficult to think of Gandhi reacting in such a way, but why wouldn't he? What secret did he know that most of us don't?

Gandhi realized that the angry man in this situation has his own problems and is simply taking it out on him. The man is upset because his needs have not been met, and things in his life are out of harmony with his values.

So, from now on, try to remind yourself that everything people say or do is an attempt to meet their needs or support something they value.

The next uncomfortable situation you find yourself in with an angry person, don't start justifying yourself, but instead begin by remembering that their anger is about them and their life.

Don't take it to heart.

Think about this: Do you want your wellbeing to be dependent upon others, or do you crave happiness that is dictated only by the decisions you make and how you choose to live your life? Take control of the situation by aligning your values with the actions you take.

Another great way to maintain your cool when dealing with others' anger is to take on the stance of curiosity. Start to wonder, "Hmm, this person really seems tense. I wonder what's happening in their life to make them so upset."

Try to take a moment to empathize with their situation and think, "If I acted the way they're acting toward me right now, what might possibly be happening in my life?" Try to come up with answers.

Switching your mindset by focusing your attention in this manner can really set you free from acting or feeling defensive. It will lead you to a more peaceful place and will support you in filling your life with happy, satisfying relationships you can enjoy.

"Setting an example is not the main means of influencing others; it is the only means." ~ Albert Einstein

Let's recap: - Anxiety and defensiveness isn't the only way to deal with angry people. - Whatever someone says or does is in support of something they value or to meet some need. - Their anger is all about them, don't take it to heart. - Take on the stance of curiosity. - Your wellbeing is not dependent on how others act or what they say.

When dealing with angry people, these strategies will help open the door to a new sense of freedom and wellbeing. No longer will you be controlled by your environment. You get to decide how you'll respond and what actions you'll take.

If you really want to break the cycle and change the way you respond to anger, the first thing you must do is develop critical skills for reducing unwanted stress in the face others who are angry. Want some great advice you can apply now for dealing with stress and designing the life you desire? Sign up for our inspiring Weekly Action Tips eMail series at: http://www.newageselfhelp.com

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Monday, October 27, 2008

How To Increase Your Motivation And Achieve More Goals

by Kenny Lindsay


One of the most challenging problems facing people in their lives is getting motivated to achieve their goals. Quite often they actually know what they want to achieve but just can't get themselves to take the proper action. In the article below we look at some great techniques you can use to get yourself motivated and taking positive action in order to achieve your goals.

A powerful tactic to use is to think about what you'll lose out on if you don't take action and follow through. If you can associate pain to the failure that comes from not following through, then you're more likely to get motivated and do whatever it takes to succeed.

A great motivation inducing practice is to stop perceiving the task that you've decided to accomplish as being so massive by breaking it down into smaller, more easy to negotiate steps. By breaking it down and only focussing on the little tasks you'll become more inspired since it seems far more realistic to take small steps and by taking some action you'll start to get momentum to take you to the next level.

It is important when motivating yourself that you reward yourself along the way rather than depriving yourself until the final victory.Achieving anything worthwhile is going to take time and energy and so it's important that to make the journey towards your goal more enjoyable that you celebrate the little successes along the way since these are what propels you to you destination.

A fun method of motivating yourself can be to start a bet with a family member that if you don't achieve your target by a specific date then you automatically must pay them a sum of money. It is important that you keep to the bet, regardless of outcome, in order that the motivation be genuine and not something you can go back on your word on.

Announcing publicly you're going to achieve can increase your motivation in a massive way. If you desire to lose 20 pounds in weight over the next 9 months then declaring you're going to do this at the gym or at a family gathering can be a really powerful motivator.

If you don't seem to be able to get yourself excited about a certain goal then you might decide to give up this goal and go after something else. There is no shame in turning your back on a goal and every reason to do so if it frees you up to set a new goal which will get you really excited and motivated.

A mental technique which you should definitely use is to vividly imagine what your life will be like when you accomplish your goals. By seeing the possiblity of great new things materialising in your life in the future it will increase your motivation to take action in the present so that when you arrive in the future it'll be brighter and better.

If you want to discover the secrets to achievement then go to http://www.instantachievementlibrary.com/ where you can, for a limited time only, immediately download 3 of the most influential chapters ever written on achievement, all professionally narrated on mp3, for free!

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Saturday, October 25, 2008

Change your definition of failure now!

Change your definition of failure now! by Doug Hart

The other day I was watching a football game (it�s September as I write this, ok?) and I was thinking how difficult it must be for a team to do well the entire game, only to see the opposing team take the lead in the final seconds of the game. How demoralizing! How does a person, let alone a whole team, stay focused enough to try one more time to go down the field and score again to win, knowing they have only seconds to do it. After all, they have been working so hard all game, and now that they have less than a minute to go, the other team is winning! Would you have the drive to do it one more time? The odds are against the team, after all, of driving about 75 yards and even scoring a field goal. On this day, the team did it. I won�t mention what team, it doesn�t matter. The point is they �found a way�, somehow, to get it done one more time!



You may say �what does that have to do with my life?� After all, a professional athlete is paid millions to do his job. I would give it my best effort every minute too if I knew I was cashing those monster checks! However, do you really think that money is the prime motivator in life? Even if it was, you have to start at the bottom in any business or endeavor, even as a football player. You work hard, sacrifice, and hope to get to the top someday, but what role do setbacks play in your hopes for achieving success? Are you prepared for a few setbacks? Maybe you are one of those that try something new, and at the first sign of �failure� says it just isn�t going to work for you? I hope not, because that is surely teaching yourself to be a loser!

If you give up after only a few tries, aren�t you programming yourself for future failure? The best way to avoid failure is to never give up, fight until you win!



Let me tell you a little story of man who never gave up. I�m sure you�ve heard these stories before, like Thomas Edison trying almost 10,000 times before he finally perfected the light bulb. But this is a story of a man most people never heard of, and never will beyond this letter. His name is Maxcy Filer and he is from California. He always wanted to be an attorney, so in the 1950�s he went to law school and eventually graduated. He was an intelligent man, and very hardworking, but just didn�t �test well� as they say. He first took the California bar exam in 1966, when his two boys were in elementary school. He didn�t pass. Therefore, he tried again, and again, and again�.He eventually took the test 48 times, after spending an estimated $50,000 dollars on fees, bar review course, etc. and finally passed the test! By this time, it was 1991 and nearly 25 years later. His boys were already grown by then, and were lawyers themselves. Now this wasn�t an easy test, the test requires examinees to pass a 300-question multi-state multiple-choice section, two three-hour performance tests, and a plethora of specialized essays on state and federal law topics ranging from community property to criminal procedure. This is the most incredible example of perseverance I can personally think of and drives home the point entirely, which is you only experience failure when you admit failure! Maxcy never gave up, and kept on telling himself �next time, next time� until he finally did it. Would you have given up sooner? Next time you think about quitting anything from a diet plan, to project at work, to that goal of getting your bachelors degree or masters, think of Maxcy Filers story. What does it take to be a winner?

The courage to never give up, that�s what it takes!







To your continued success and happiness!



Doug Hart, CHO of GetPassionForLife.com

I've spent many years studying psychology, philosophy, NLP, and motivation. My particular focus is on the biggest question in life - what makes us happy? Join me
and maybe together we can discover more about what makes you happier in life.
I think it's more of a journey than a destination, and I would like to make your journey much more exhilarating, passionate, loving, and unforgettable! Take the
time to visit us at http://getpassionforlife.com and find out why "you are what you
think about most", and how critical your success is to happiness!




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