Say NO

by Bryan Kavanagh

The number one thing you need to say no to is society itself! You need to say NO to the everyday 'socially acceptable' things that are definitely affecting your progress! I may recieve some hate mail on this subject but, this is what i believe, feel free to disagree.

Now this quote does not only relate to time management! It relates to your body too! I know it sounds cheesy but in order to attain and/or maintain a lean physique you must say NO to a few things along the way. Things that hold you back!

Society - The number one thing you need to say no to is society itself! Now I am not saying you sit on your own in your room and eat broccoli and do push ups all day, I am simply saying that you need to say NO to the everyday 'socially acceptable' things that, well shouldn't be socially acceptable! I am going to reveal MY views on the situation, feel free to disagree!

During my recent stay in Las Vegas I saw a lot of gluttony, stagnation and LAZINESS. I saw people in restaurants eating WAY TOO MUCH! I saw people getting taxi's from one hotel to the adjacent hotel! But the thing that stood out most of all was; I saw people on these small motorised bikes, Im not sure if they were expecially for shopping or if they used them for all everyday activity. I am not taking a cheap shot at people that are restricted to wheelchairs! But I am taking a shot at people who aren't restricted to wheel chairs and STILL use them! I think people using these Bokes is a stab at the people who are actually restricted and NEED them! They are 'able' to walk yet they don't! They'd rather eat a load of nonsense and get fatter day by day! I seen this a lot in Walmart actually but this one instance stands out in my mind! A woman who WAS overweight but by no means obese was in front of me at the till. Now in my innocence I merely thought she was unable to walk and was actually sympathising with her (and thinking how cool it would be to have a go of her motorised bike) but when she was loading the conveyor belt thing at the till she dropped one of the products. Now I, thinking she couldn't get the object (a tin of whipped cream if you're wondering), moved in to help her but before I could she JUMPED out of the motorised thing and proficiently SQUATTED down (technically perfect squat) and got the can of whipped cream! Now I have to admit I was ASTOUNDED! What the HELL was she doing in the motorised thing?! She had no problems walking or jumping even SQUATTING! I just didn't get it. I went silent for while, paid for my ridiculously cheap bag of broccoli and canned mushrooms (I was on a budget ok?!) and headed back to the apartment. I don't know. . I really don't. She didn't need the bike, she was well able to move and she perfectly mobile. No visible limitations! Since when did this become acceptable? This woman was able to use this bike and not one other person in the queue batted an eyelid!?

society has accepted laziness and obesity as 'OK' and what you have to do is REJECT it at every turn!

Peers

Now let's discuss your peers! You need to keep a close eye on these! I'm sorry and I know this prospect seems a little bleak but they love to see you fail. The abhor the fact you are dedicated to your training and nutrition (are you? or your at least trying aren't you!?) and it drives them crazy that they don't have the discipline. To them when you resist them fries and that 'super size' it OUTRAGES THEM inside. They would never EVER admit this! But to them every time they see you slip up or get a little injury they secretly (perhaps even subconsciously) love it! They love the fact, for that 'split second' you were no better than they are! Say NO to the fries, Say NO to the sugary cocktail, say NO to the CAKE! Haha ok you can have a bit of cake (only if its your birthday though).

'Other half' i.e. girlfriend, husband etc

Ah the other half, just think of all the positive talk you get from the other half 'ehh you belly's getting bigger', or 'oh, you used to fit in them jeans' these sort of things can actually be motivational . . I'm not giving out about these! But the popular; 'you'll only last a week in the gym, you quit again' is one to watch! It's cruel but it's TRUE. I'm not trying to split anyone up here, I'm merely trying to point out that sometimes you have to say NO, maybe just say it to yourself not out loud (to avoid an argument), but say 'Yes, maybe my belly is bigger, and my jeans are tighter but not for long and NO, I will not quit'

Food

Here's the good one! Food being placed on front of you, at parties or functions or whatever, the server knows no better but you do! Let's take the baskets of complimentary bread that is dumped on your table before a meal? NO! Do not give in! Even if your associates say 'its still warm' or 'its so fresh' do not give in! They know you don't want it! They are saboteurs! In fact my friend told me recently that after he started the new nutritional programme I prescribed His own mother (now I know she meant well) was trying to FORCE FEED HIM CAKE. Despite his repeated objections, she persisted! And when he continually refused she actually told him 'your not eating right, come on eat the cake' Ha, so now cake is right!? Ok I'm getting a little psychotic here but you ALL have been in that situation! Just say NO! Your abs will thank you!

Yourself

Your biggest enemy is yourself! It's REALLY hard to say no to yourself! YOU are the hardest person to convince! 'ah ill be training later so I can afford to have this big smelly take-away' NO. Or 'ah dark chocolate is good for you' NO. 'Ah few more drinks can't hurt' NO. 'Maybe just a small desert, ill start the diet tomorrow' NO. You will try convince yourself that the negative behaviour you are about to undertake is 'OK' for you. . Be sensible and say NO.

Copyright (c) 2008 Athleticbodysystem

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Letting Go of Your Have-To's

by Lea Houston

As I sat down to write this article my fiancé David called. He had just spent several hours in the 90' heat hauling and shoveling topsoil at a house he is selling.

"Well," he said after a few minutes, "It's really hot but I have to get back out there- I have to get it all finished this afternoon."

"Gosh sweetie," I said, "I'm just sitting down to write an article about Letting Go of Your Have-To's. Do you really have to do it?"

"No," he replied with remarkable good humor, "I want to."

"Would you please tell our listening audience," I asked in my best faux-radio-announcer-voice, "How do you feel when you shift from saying 'I have to' to saying 'I want to'?"

Thinking I might be pushing David's remarkable good humor a bit too much, I was relieved and impressed when he played along with me. He stoppped, took the time to feel the difference and replied, "It's a reality check.... I realize, oh yeah, I can't get way with that.... It's kind of a relief from an artificial sort of weight.... (Sigh) I can breathe a little deeper when I realize I am choosing to do it."

Do you ever notice the difference that one word can make?

I have to____________.
I want to_____________.

Fill in the blanks with anything you are going to do today and notice how different it feels to have to and to want to.

One of my clients recently realized that all day long she thought to herself, Now I have to go to the store, now I have to go walk my dog, now I have to go to yoga, now I have to go to get a massage, now I have to go meet my friend. She laughed as she told me, "I am retired, I can do anything I want to and I like everything I am doing but I think and talk about all of it like it is a hassle!"

Shifting to thinking and saying "I want to" made a big difference in her enjoyment- and sense of ownership- of her daily life. She is now doing the same activities but with a very different feeling inside and a different attitude toward those around her.

Notice when you say or think: I have to....

Ask yourself: Do I really have to?

No. Almost everything we do in life is a choice. Can you think of anything that you or anyone else actually has to do?

I believe it was Mark Twain who said the only thing a man has to do is pay taxes and die. Well, paying taxes is also a choice. There are consequences for not paying taxes but it is a choice nonetheless.

Why does it matter? It's such a little difference!

In becoming aware of the phrases "I have to" vs. "I want to" you are acknowledging your choice and you are consciously doing what you want to do or consciously choosing not to do it.

Sometimes we want to do something because of the consequences if we don't do it. That's ok. It's still really helpful to focus on the feeling of wanting to do it.

Have-To is energy sapping, dutiful, lead in your pockets. Want-To is light, enthusiastic and wind in your sails.

Have-To pretends to come from someone or somewhere outside of yourself. Want-To fuels you with your power of choice.

Life becomes easier and more fun when filled with Want-To energy.

This doesn't mean you should stop paying bills, taking care of your children, cleaning your house and going to work. If you really think about it you probably want to do those things.

Claim your power of choice and connect to your motivation. If you infuse your daily activities, with the sense of Want-To, your life will be better!

Sometimes noticing a persistent sense of Have-To is a reminder that it's time to make some changes, to choose to be creative and take action. Maybe there are times you really don't want to do something but you feel obligated. That's something to notice and to deal with honestly.

What subtle (or not so subtle) changes happen in your health, your relationships and your life when you shift from living like you Have-To to living like you Want-To?

It's only one word.

Little change. Huge rewards.

Transformational wellness coach, Lea Houston, MA, will help you create joyful health, vitality and well-being. Get her Free Special Report,
Let it Be Easy, and a free subscription to her popular e-zine, Self Care Celebration! rich with soulful and practical resources, tips and inspiration at
http://www.SelfCareCelebration.com

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