Self-confidence, Presence and Leadership

You know the old expression - "They're a born leader!"? Is there any such thing - or can we all be leaders? Is there any secret that can be learned - that we can all learn? Or are some "leaders" and most of us "followers"?

Well, first of all, let's get a few facts straight. Most people who find themselves in leadership positions, wouldn't be able to lead themselves out of a paper bag! They might have built up a veneer of self-confidence to get them to where they are - but that's all self-confidence is, a veneer.

Self-confidence is a cloak that builds and protects your personality, or your ego. Your personality is not who you really are, it's who you think you are - warts and all - based on the self-perceptions that you learned during your formative years. Self-confidence merely bolsters the ego and, in fact, removes you even further from your true capabilities and inner potential.

There's a world of difference between the self-confident personality and someone with presence or charisma. People with presence are true leaders - whether they even have thought about it in those terms or not. So, what's the difference between the "normal" person and the person who exudes presence?

Very simple really - and we can all exude presence. You see decades of research prove that "normal" people use only a small percentage of their mental capability to focus on the present moment - the here and now. Generally speaking, your subconscious mind is looking at the old programs that create your self-perception, which were installed during your childhood. In other words, your subconscious mind is living in the past. All the while, your conscious mind is being distracted by random thoughts - approximately, fifty thousand of them every day. No wonder your mind wanders! Generally speaking, these random thoughts are worries or distractions about the outturn of events, or looking forward (to the weekend, the holidays, meeting up with your friends tonight). In other words, your conscious mind is living in the future. What all this amounts to is that only about 1% or 2% of you is actually present, in the present.

People with presence are simply a little (or, in some cases, a lot) more present than all the "normal" people who are not all here at all. They are more focused in the present moment and are, therefore, more present. Surely, that's what the word "presence" actually means! Being more present, "normal" people notice them as being different - people with presence stand out from the crowd. And, as a result, they make more of an impression - they are more impressive.

Some "leaders" do it naturally. Others have learned it. We can all learn it. In fact, it comes naturally to every one of us too - we've just forgotten how to do it. You see, having presence is simply a question of being more focused in the present moment - more than the pathetic 1-2% that is the "norm". And we all were experts at paying attention to the present moment when we were young children. (If you have children, just look at the way they get engrossed in their play, watching television, etc.)

Re-train your mind to be present - by paying attention to your five senses. Come to your senses. Appreciate the present moment by seeing, feeling, hearing smelling and tasting what's going on. If you go through these simple steps, your mind will get used to being more here - and it will wander less. If you're with friends, really listen to what they're saying, rather than thinking about what you'll say next. If you're playing sports, really feel the strain in your legs and arms, rather than thinking about something that happened beforehand or thinking that your opponent is better than you (that's actually a self-fulfilling prophecy!). If you're in a meeting with someone you don't like, stop thinking that useless thought, listen to what they're really saying (not what you think they're saying) and get involved - really involved. If you're playing with your children, don't try to wash the dishes and do the laundry at the same time - really play with them, rather than going through the motions.

But, most of all, give yourself the space and time to re-train your mind to pay attention - simply to notice and observe the present moment, using your five senses. You could go for a walk - just to do that. Not to "clear your head" or "think things through" - just to appreciate the here and now. You could allocate time to sit in the park - just experiencing the here and now. If you workout, you could turn off your iPod and really focus on the muscles you're using.

The key point is this. If you want to get mentally fit and have presence, a little time set aside for mental training goes a very long way. And we can all do it.


Copyright (c) 2009 Willie Horton



Willie Horton was born and educated in Dublin, Ireland. An ex-Accountant and ex-Banker, he has worked with business leaders for thirteen years, enabling them understand how their state of mind creates their lives. Clients describe the results as 'unbelievable' and 'life-changing'. Willie now lives with his wife and children in the French Alps. For more, information visit:
http://www.gurdy.net


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Is Freedom Of Choice Really Free?

by donyates22

The Inner Self And Free Will.

Are we as humans, free to select our goals, determine our future and correct our faults? Considering that we are part of a larger mental and emotional whole within a society, consisting of cultures, and environment of laws, do we as individuals have the ability to control and change ourselves as well as alter our surroundings? Is our surroundings akin to a lake and we are simply a drop of water amongst trillions of other drops?

The Question Of Life.

This is an important question because if our lives are totally determined by our environment, than we are simply creatures of conditions. If we are intelligent beings who are able to decipher the laws of history, society, and politics then we should also understand our position and avoid situations that could potentially harm us or others. The fact is, most people don't understand political ambitions and actions and are unable to evaluate their potential. If we could discern the roots of evil, would we then, prevent it?

The Laws Of The Land.

The problem is, we are subjected to the laws of the land and our experience is in how well we are able to control them. Control comes from planning and planning stems from a well structured mind.

Creating A Future.

If we are indeed able to alter and create our future, would we then, create a world of peace and tranquility? But that is not the case, we clearly are only able to partially manipulate that which directly effects ourselves. We are able to control that which projects from within but not that which is external. We are beings that perceive life from the inside out, while the world sees us from the outside in.

The Inner Self.

What is our self? Our inner being or me that perceives the world and deciphers our experience. Our self is continuous in time as a force that recognizes its own position. The self is manifest through natural observation which is our psychological makeup. Our perception of events are limited and determined through our life experiences. Each experience piled upon the other, makes up a total lifespan.

Our Inner Self Has Several Features.

First. is the personality or ego, which is ourselves receiving and judging the world. It also organizes and controls our mental activities.

Second. is the realization of self-potential which controls self-esteem, goal setting and self analysis. We also are accountable for our actions upon others.

Third. is the superego, which sets the rules that guide the self as well as other attributes such as abilities and temperaments involving self limitations and motivation for achieving goals.

Fourth. is freedom of choice. Our self has the power to exert conscious control over our actions, excises, options, reasoning, feelings of worth and prods the itself into action.

Fifth. Willpower. Our willpower gives us the power to reject, concepts, reality, decipher right from wrong, and self-realization.

Freedom Of Choice.

Freedom of choice is, in itself a natural power, and attribute of self but are we, as humans, really free to choose? Essentially, freedom is the ability of the individual to choose or create his/her own actions. Free choice is enacted upon demand and enables us to deal directly with any given problem but environment plays a heavy role in our choice process.

Creating Choices.

If we have free choice then are we able to create our choices? We can and do originate choices but at the same time we are subject to others actions\choices. We can, however, choose to reject or accept others choices.

The Question Of Influence.

There is always the question of influence swaying our choice and therefore the choice was not really free. A solution to this phenomenon would to unite both freedom and necessity to accomplish the best end. Logic would dictate the correct avenue to take in most choices. Each choice should be assessed for its value and potentiality as it contributes to our future. As a free will self with the gift of choice, we are free to avoid conditions and progress towards that which might be.

Happy Trails

About the Author

“Former Development coordinator for Imperial Research, author, Spiritual Adviser, Donald Yates is now retired but continues to expand through Self Discovery. Learn how you can also. Go to.”

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How To Increase Your Motivation And Achieve More Goals

by Kenny Lindsay


One of the most challenging problems facing people in their lives is getting motivated to achieve their goals. Quite often they actually know what they want to achieve but just can't get themselves to take the proper action. In the article below we look at some great techniques you can use to get yourself motivated and taking positive action in order to achieve your goals.

A powerful tactic to use is to think about what you'll lose out on if you don't take action and follow through. If you can associate pain to the failure that comes from not following through, then you're more likely to get motivated and do whatever it takes to succeed.

A great motivation inducing practice is to stop perceiving the task that you've decided to accomplish as being so massive by breaking it down into smaller, more easy to negotiate steps. By breaking it down and only focussing on the little tasks you'll become more inspired since it seems far more realistic to take small steps and by taking some action you'll start to get momentum to take you to the next level.

It is important when motivating yourself that you reward yourself along the way rather than depriving yourself until the final victory.Achieving anything worthwhile is going to take time and energy and so it's important that to make the journey towards your goal more enjoyable that you celebrate the little successes along the way since these are what propels you to you destination.

A fun method of motivating yourself can be to start a bet with a family member that if you don't achieve your target by a specific date then you automatically must pay them a sum of money. It is important that you keep to the bet, regardless of outcome, in order that the motivation be genuine and not something you can go back on your word on.

Announcing publicly you're going to achieve can increase your motivation in a massive way. If you desire to lose 20 pounds in weight over the next 9 months then declaring you're going to do this at the gym or at a family gathering can be a really powerful motivator.

If you don't seem to be able to get yourself excited about a certain goal then you might decide to give up this goal and go after something else. There is no shame in turning your back on a goal and every reason to do so if it frees you up to set a new goal which will get you really excited and motivated.

A mental technique which you should definitely use is to vividly imagine what your life will be like when you accomplish your goals. By seeing the possiblity of great new things materialising in your life in the future it will increase your motivation to take action in the present so that when you arrive in the future it'll be brighter and better.

If you want to discover the secrets to achievement then go to http://www.instantachievementlibrary.com/ where you can, for a limited time only, immediately download 3 of the most influential chapters ever written on achievement, all professionally narrated on mp3, for free!

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