Instantaneous Transformation: 4 Tips for Becoming More Selective in Your Life

by Melani Ward

It has been my experience that one of the keys to happiness in my business and in all areas of my life, is to be selective about what I allow into it. This does not mean I demand perfection - I only get to do that when I am perfect and I'm not holding my breath on that one.

However, life feels pretty short to me as evidenced by the fact that my daughter, who was born yesterday, is actually days away from being two and a half years old! So, I choose to fill what time I have with great people, motivated clients, wonderful friends and a whole lot of joy.

I do this by being selective. And, as someone who spent nearly 30 years being quite indiscriminate, I can tell you that the past 7 years of selectivity have been a whole lot better.

Still, changing your mindset takes work so I want to share some ideas that helped me transform my life instantaneously:

1. Pay attention to what you say to yourself. The words you say in your head have tremendous power. Be kind. Treat yourself like the beautiful, unique and wonderful person you are. Think of yourself as a child and never say anything to yourself that you wouldn't say to your son, daughter, niece or neighbor. The kinder you are to yourself, the more you will expect and demand that others treat you the same way. If you work with people who treat you poorly or you have friends or family in your life who are unkind to you, break it off or distance yourself from them as much as possible.

2. Protect your mind. I used to be a news junkie. I taught current affairs for several years so keeping my ear to all of the media stations was a habit. I watched MSNBC, CNBC, CNN, BBC, read the Economist, Newsweek, NYT, and scanned the Internet every chance I got. When I left that job, I dropped it all cold turkey. In fact, I'm pretty certain I didn't pick up a newspaper or watch the news for 6 months. The shift I experienced was amazing. I was so much happier, less tense and less worried. It had become such a habit that I didn't realize how negatively all of the noise, drama and conflict were impacting me. In fact, I thought I was being a great "citizen" by keeping up with every last development.

It's difficult to stay away from the drama of negative people, TV shows, the news and the Internet but the dominant side of your attitude is the one you feed the most. So, do your best to eliminate this type of negativity from your life. Go on a "low-information diet" for at least a week as an experiment. (Idea taken from Tim Ferriss's book The 4-Hour Work Week). See how much you can cut out and then evaluate what you missed (likely you will not miss a thing) and how much better you feel as a result of it.

That information alone may encourage you to look at it as a way of life instead of a just a temporary diet.

3. Replace negative with positive. It's not enough to just get rid of the negative. Fill that space with positive people, books, and activities on a daily basis. I know some people who work themselves to the bone all day and then come home and watch worthless hours of TV and wonder why they feel tired, depressed and anxious. Our lives are busy but sometimes we equate watching TV with doing nothing when in fact, it is impacting us unconsciously. So, try this experiment for the next week: Whenever you spend time with someone, read a book or magazine, watch TV, or participate in any activity ask yourself this question: Do I feel better or worse now? Did this activity produce feelings of joy and positive energy or am I emotionally exhausted, anxious, and/or more stressed than I was before?

4. When it comes to relationships, set your own rules of engagement. You don't have to put up with bad clients, draining friends and constant conflict with your significant others. If you are kind and generous and do your part to create positive and loving relationships, you deserve the same in return. If you are not getting it, change it. Fire your client, talk with your friend, discuss your concerns with your spouse or partner. Tell them how you feel, how you perceive your interaction together and what you need to feel good about the relationship. If it's worth saving, do whatever it takes to move forward with it; however, if it becomes clear that this relationship is going to cause you constant stress or anxiety, take care of yourself and get out of it as soon as possible so that you can place your time and energy on those people in your life that bring you the most joy.

The people who are most unhappy in this world are the ones who believe they are the victims. Life does not happen to us. We have control over what we do, what we do with the thoughts we think, and with whom and what we interact. Be selective with what you allow into your life and if you are unhappy with something, take control and change it. You deserve to surround yourself with love and joy and what is most important to you.

About the Author

Find out what storyteller you are dragging around with you at http://www.changingyourstoryblog.com. Melani Ward is a passionate entrepreneur: numerologist, online marketing strategist, lifestyle coach, writer, yogi and runner! She helps women entrepreneurs attract more ideal clients and make a lot more money doing work they LOVE.

Article Source: Content for Reprint

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Meditation in Five Minutes or Less

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Motivational Quotes~Truly Inspiring

If you have built castles in the air, your work need not be lost. That is where they should be. Now put the foundation under them.
-- Henry David Thoreau

Kites rise highest against the wind; not with it.
-- Sir Winston Churchill

You cannot raise a man up by calling him down.
-- William Boetcker

Leadership is doing what is right when no one is watching.
-- George Van Valkenburg

You can discover more about a person in an hour of play than in a year of conversation.
-- Plato

Life is like a dogsled team. If you ain't the lead dog, the scenery never changes.
-- Lewis Grizzard

Don't ever take a fence down until you know why it was put up.
-- Robert Frost

When you are right, you cannot be too radical; When you are wrong, you cannot be too conservative.
-- Martin Luther King, Jr

Each day of our lives we make deposits in the memory banks of our children.
-- Charles R. Swindoll

Good is not good where better is expected.
-- Thomas Fuller

I don't like that man. I must get to know him better.
-- Abraham Lincoln

Deal with the faults of others as gently as with your own.
-- Chinese Proverb

A successful person is one who can lay a firm foundation with the bricks that others throw at him or her.
-- David Brinkley

Argue for your limitations and sure enough they're yours.
-- Richard Bach

Be like a postage stamp. Stick to one thing until you get there.
-- Josh Billings

A joyful life is an individual creation that cannot be copied from a recipe.
-- Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi

There is no joy in a life that is all information. There is no 'juice' to that kind of life. No sweetness, no color. Like trading a beautiful golden-ripe orange for a stalk of whithered broccoli.
-- Tish Grier

There is no old age. There is, as there always was, just you.
-- Carol Matthau

I want freedom for the full expression of my personality.
-- Mahatma Gandhi
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Transformation through Yoga: Do You Mysore Your Life?

I began practicing Yoga about 13 years ago. I first used it as a way to recover from long and hard training weeks but soon discovered a passion for the practice and the lifestyle.

I have studied Ashtanga with some of the greatest teachers in the United States and have spent hours and hours in teacher trainings all over the county. It has been a big part of my life for a long time and the lessons I have learned over the past 13 years are immeasurable.

But, there is one in particular that I was reminded of last week with a client who was telling me how she was supposed to have been farther along by now that I thought was worth sharing with you.

In many of the places I have practiced Yoga there have been early morning Mysore style classes. Mysore is the third largest city in the southern Indian state of Karnataka. The name Mysore is derived from the name of the demon that allegedly used to rule there. Mysore was once the home to the royal family and is now the home of the legendary Ashtanga Yoga teacher Patthabi Jois. In a Mysore style class each student practices at their own pace, while they focus on moving through the different series of Ashtanga.

When I went to my first Mysore class I thought it was going to be great. I could go at my own pace and nobody would know if I simply skipped my least favorite poses and added a few of my own from the second series in to the first.

Wrong.

I was flowing happily through the first series and got to a pose I did not like and just skipped it. My instructor came by to "remind me" of the one I had missed and told me to do it. While I could kind of do it, I was definitely not in the full expression of the pose, or even halfway actually. When I finished my attempt at that pose she came and said, "You're done for today. See you tomorrow." I thought she was kidding.

She wasn't.

She had practiced with Patthabi Jois for a long time and she told me that this is how it goes. You come to practice and you move through the sequence as far as you can and when you come to a pose that stops you, you practice it and then are done for the day. You come back the next day and move further through until you come to the next pose that stops you. You do not move onto the second series until you can move through the first evenly through each breath.

I left that day and was so frustrated I could barely get it together. By that time I had been practicing for at least 2 hours a day for about 2.5 years - I just hated that pose so I couldn't do it. I couldn't believe that one thing meant I had to leave class.

Of course I went home and practiced it all afternoon. (It was Supta Kurmasana and coming out if it with a vinyasa.) So, I went in the next morning and proudly moved right through it and got to finish the series, even though she said my Setu Bandhasana needed some work.

But here's what I learned. I thought because I knew all of the poses, could pronounce all of them in Sanskrit and had been practicing Yoga for over 2 years, that I should have been further along than I was.

I should have been able to breeze through the first series and move on to my favorite poses that are conveniently chunked in the middle of the second.

Not true.

Yoga is a practice and there is no right or wrong place to be. I had tried to ignore something, a pose, a lesson, and thought I would get away with it. However, by not including the real discomfort I felt in that pose with the rest of the experience, I unwittingly held myself back.

The quick lesson here is that you can feel pain, sadness and even discomfort without it having to ruin your state of well being. When you ignore those feelings, they do not go away; they just show up in a different space.

You are where you are on your mat on any given day. Some days when my mind is wandering or the moon is full, I cannot balance in scorpion (my favorite pose) to save my life. But I am okay with that. I am exactly where I am supposed to be.

Life is no different. In fact, I have found Yoga and running to be incredibly accurate metaphors for life.

Life is practice and the only place you are "supposed" to be is exactly where you are. The only place your business or bank account should be is exactly where it is.

Does that mean you won't be somewhere else tomorrow or next week? Of course not. But if you can't embrace where you are now, you won't be able to embrace what's next either. You can't do your life right or wrong. If you think of your life and all of your actions as right or wrong, you will be paralyzed and you'll never be able to experience the bliss and joy of each moment.

It's been 10 years since that first Mysore class and since then I have learned to be more kind to myself. I am not always "thrilled" with where I am because I am human and darn it some days I just want more. But, whenever my head goes there I think about the love I feel for myself when I am on my mat and know that my ability to complete or not complete a certain posture on any given day has nothing to do with how good, or worthy or smart I am.

I am alive and breathing and I get to enjoy this amazing life and that's pretty good stuff.

About the Author

Find out what storyteller you are dragging around with you at http://www.changingyourstoryblog.com. Melani Ward is a passionate entrepreneur: numerologist, online marketing strategist, lifestyle coach, writer, yogi and runner! She helps women entrepreneurs attract more ideal clients and make a lot more money doing work they LOVE.

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Transformation - The Myth of Prolonged Effort

We are surrounded by seekers. All around us there are people "on the path", on their way, seeking something, enlightenment, anything. They see a movie, read a passage in the Bible, hear someone speak, visit a slaughterhouse, read a profound text or experience an "a ha" moment and the road to enlightenment begins.

There are gurus and vendors and wares on the path that promise enlightenment someday. Someday when you have studied enough, read enough, listened enough, experienced enough, felt enough, starved enough, cried enough or taught enough.

And this progressive path is acceptable. It's appealing. It's been described for centuries and within this belief lies the idea that when you follow the path, follow directions, spend enough hours in meditation, cultivate the right attitudes, and surround yourself with the right teachers, the TRUTH about who you really are will be clear.

And, to make this path even more acceptable, there are countless stories of enlightened masters who started out on this seeker path, as we have, and achieved enlightenment through long, determined effort.

This prolonged and step-by-step approach actually feels quite good to our mind, which loves problems, obstacles to negotiate and loves having a map that identifies where you are going and how to get there. Your ego is equally up to this task. The ego is inspired by a struggle it can feel "good" about accomplishing. The ego sees an end, and is certain if you just put in the time and effort, you too can have your chance at enlightenment or peace.

Besides, this approach allows you to put your life on an organized path. I am a vegan and a yogi and as such I do these things with other people doing the same thing surrounding me. I am a Buddhist Monk and I am traveling through the 4 stages to reach enlightenment. You get the point.

But, what if this concept of the progressive approach actually undermines any possibility of awakening RIGHT NOW? If you are more concerned with the practice that will lead you toward awakening or transformation than the actual transformation in the moment, then isn't it possible you will spend so many years on the way, you will miss what was right in front of you, or within you along?

One of my favorite teachers Stephan Bodian said, "The danger of investing your energy in seeking is that you'll end up a perpetual seeker, without ever finding what you were looking for in the first place." Furthermore he says that the belief that you need to engage in certain practices over a period of time in order to realize who you are "reinforces the belief that your true nature is deeply concealed and requires protracted effort to uncover."

The truth is that truth plays hide and seek with itself and if we continue to focus so much of our time searching and looking for the right answer, we will miss the present and what is available to us NOW.

If you seek the answer to this question you will find answers to feed both sides. You will be reminded of enlightened souls who had centuries of refinement to site. On the other side you will learn about spiritual guides who had no path, no tools, no lineage but who experienced instantaneous transformation and who have been sharing their spiritual wisdom and connection to source energy from that moment on.

No way is right or wrong of course and a great many things can be learned and experienced through study, practice and devotion. The problem has more to do with attitude than the technique. For example, if you view your practice as a gradual way to achieve some goal, you may not only lose your passion and drive but you may miss the open secret of who you already are because no amount of effort can ever bring you closer to who you are, it's already as close as your breath.

About the Author

Find out what storyteller you are dragging around with you at http://www.changingyourstoryblog.com. Melani Ward is a passionate entrepreneur: numerologist, online marketing

strategist, lifestyle coach, writer, yogi and runner! She helps women entrepreneurs attract more ideal clients and make a lot more money doing work they LOVE.

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Self-confidence, Presence and Leadership

You know the old expression - "They're a born leader!"? Is there any such thing - or can we all be leaders? Is there any secret that can be learned - that we can all learn? Or are some "leaders" and most of us "followers"?

Well, first of all, let's get a few facts straight. Most people who find themselves in leadership positions, wouldn't be able to lead themselves out of a paper bag! They might have built up a veneer of self-confidence to get them to where they are - but that's all self-confidence is, a veneer.

Self-confidence is a cloak that builds and protects your personality, or your ego. Your personality is not who you really are, it's who you think you are - warts and all - based on the self-perceptions that you learned during your formative years. Self-confidence merely bolsters the ego and, in fact, removes you even further from your true capabilities and inner potential.

There's a world of difference between the self-confident personality and someone with presence or charisma. People with presence are true leaders - whether they even have thought about it in those terms or not. So, what's the difference between the "normal" person and the person who exudes presence?

Very simple really - and we can all exude presence. You see decades of research prove that "normal" people use only a small percentage of their mental capability to focus on the present moment - the here and now. Generally speaking, your subconscious mind is looking at the old programs that create your self-perception, which were installed during your childhood. In other words, your subconscious mind is living in the past. All the while, your conscious mind is being distracted by random thoughts - approximately, fifty thousand of them every day. No wonder your mind wanders! Generally speaking, these random thoughts are worries or distractions about the outturn of events, or looking forward (to the weekend, the holidays, meeting up with your friends tonight). In other words, your conscious mind is living in the future. What all this amounts to is that only about 1% or 2% of you is actually present, in the present.

People with presence are simply a little (or, in some cases, a lot) more present than all the "normal" people who are not all here at all. They are more focused in the present moment and are, therefore, more present. Surely, that's what the word "presence" actually means! Being more present, "normal" people notice them as being different - people with presence stand out from the crowd. And, as a result, they make more of an impression - they are more impressive.

Some "leaders" do it naturally. Others have learned it. We can all learn it. In fact, it comes naturally to every one of us too - we've just forgotten how to do it. You see, having presence is simply a question of being more focused in the present moment - more than the pathetic 1-2% that is the "norm". And we all were experts at paying attention to the present moment when we were young children. (If you have children, just look at the way they get engrossed in their play, watching television, etc.)

Re-train your mind to be present - by paying attention to your five senses. Come to your senses. Appreciate the present moment by seeing, feeling, hearing smelling and tasting what's going on. If you go through these simple steps, your mind will get used to being more here - and it will wander less. If you're with friends, really listen to what they're saying, rather than thinking about what you'll say next. If you're playing sports, really feel the strain in your legs and arms, rather than thinking about something that happened beforehand or thinking that your opponent is better than you (that's actually a self-fulfilling prophecy!). If you're in a meeting with someone you don't like, stop thinking that useless thought, listen to what they're really saying (not what you think they're saying) and get involved - really involved. If you're playing with your children, don't try to wash the dishes and do the laundry at the same time - really play with them, rather than going through the motions.

But, most of all, give yourself the space and time to re-train your mind to pay attention - simply to notice and observe the present moment, using your five senses. You could go for a walk - just to do that. Not to "clear your head" or "think things through" - just to appreciate the here and now. You could allocate time to sit in the park - just experiencing the here and now. If you workout, you could turn off your iPod and really focus on the muscles you're using.

The key point is this. If you want to get mentally fit and have presence, a little time set aside for mental training goes a very long way. And we can all do it.


Copyright (c) 2009 Willie Horton



Willie Horton was born and educated in Dublin, Ireland. An ex-Accountant and ex-Banker, he has worked with business leaders for thirteen years, enabling them understand how their state of mind creates their lives. Clients describe the results as 'unbelievable' and 'life-changing'. Willie now lives with his wife and children in the French Alps. For more, information visit:
http://www.gurdy.net


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How To Become More Confident - 10 Ways To Build Your Confidence

by Trevor Johnson

What is confidence, if not the difference between feeling like the sky's the limit and the world is out to get you?

Having enough self-confidence can often be the "make or break" deal when it comes to securing a job, striking a business deal or even a matter as simple as asking someone out on a date.

The key to successfully becoming more confident about yourself is how others perceive you through your own self-perception. Yes, this means, if you see yourself as an attractive, capable and energetic person, the others will see you the same way too.

Of course, there are many factors beyond your control in this world, but there are also many things that you can do on your own to give yourself more confident in preparation to go "get the gold". Follow these 10 tips for how to become more confident instantly, and you'll be able to face the world without worries.

Dress To Impress

No, it's not cliche. Your appearance matters most to you and if you feel unattractive or dowdy, you'll give out that perception to the world. Dress smartly, not just by concentrating on your clothes, but also by paying attention to proper grooming. If you can't afford to buy expensive clothes all the time, don't. Cut the buying in half, but spend twice as much as you would normally, to buy high-quality clothes. In the long run, this reduces your expenditure on clothes, because high-quality clothing lasts longer and give a better impression,.

Brisk Walking

People who are confident walk faster and more energetically, because they feel important enough to hurry from place to place. They have people to meet, places to go to and have generally have a full agenda. So, even if you are in no hurry, add a little sprint to your walk and you'll instantly feel very confident and purposeful.

Good Posture

Remember the days when our grandmothers would yell at us to "stand up straight and don't slouch"? Well, they had a good reason to do so. A person without any confidence can be spotted a mile away because of the way they carry themselves - never looking up, huddled and ambling along, it's quite apparent they don't see any importance in what they are doing.

Advertise Yourself

Not literally, of course. Record or write a small speech about your positive attributes and read it or listen to it whenever you feel down and low. It's a great way to give yourself some confidence boosting.

Focus On Gratitude

The more you think about what you don't have, the less confident you'll become. Instead, always focus on what you do have, the positive sides of your appearance, character and abilities. Feel gratitude towards what you've been given and able to achieve.

Compliment Other People

We tend to project our negative feelings towards ourselves through insulting others and gossiping about them. Refuse to engage in such time-wasting activity and instead, start complimenting everything good about any person. When you look for the best in others, you'll gradually be able to see the best in yourself too.

Go Right To The Front

Whether you are at a lecture, conference or even church, if you have the tendency to go sit at the back, you are afraid to be noticed. This is a baseless fear, so take courage and go right to the front of an assembly.

Speak Up

Hiding like a mouse while in open discussions? Don't; speak up, join in the conversation. Unlike your belief, you won't say anything stupid. Most people battle with this notion in fear of public speaking, but it has not real cause, because unless you speak up, your issues will never get resolved. Public speaking will always contribute to increasing your confidence.

Exercise

Boost your energy by working out at least 3 times a week. It'll give you the energy and the "looking-good" confidence, so you can face the world with your head held high.

Contribute To Society

All too often, we as humans, are wallowing in self pity and desire. By concentrating on helping others and making a difference other people's lives, you have less time to think about your own self-perceived faults, which in turn helps to build confidence.

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Get more help on how to build self confidence and watch your confidence levels skyrocket!

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