6 Steps to Killer Self Esteem

by ernier4154

The world can be a beautiful place. It can also chew you up and spit you out if you let it. So how do you stay cool, calm, and collected, and maintain your self esteem when things aren't going your way? Here are 6 tips to thicken that skin and keep your spirit soaring above the crowd.

Remember, no one wants you to succeed and live a great life more that you. It's up to you to guard against the people and events that will try to pull you down. Mentally establish an invisible perimeter around yourself to block the poison arrows that will attempt to puncture your happy little bubble.

#1 : Negative Work Environment

Avoid living by the "dog eat dog" theory where everyone is fighting just to get ahead. Stay out of this, it will ruin your self esteem. Even if you miss lunch and dinner and stay up late, few will appreciate your contributions. Competition is always lurking in the background. Do your part, but don't ruin your health stressing over it.

#2: Other People's Behavior

You can't control other people. You'll come across brown nosers, gossipmongers, whiners, backstabbers, snipers, people walking wounded, controllers, naggers, complainers, sluffers and more. All these kinds of people will spread bad vibes to your self esteem - avoid them as much as possible.

#3: Changing Environment

Change is always happening and will challenge your beliefs and test your flexibility. A positive attitude toward change and a measure of adaptability can turn a difficult situation into a life-changing benefit. Instead of dreading change, face it with open eyes and see how you can turn it to your advantage.

#4: Past Experience

It's okay to cry and say "ouch!" when we experience pain, but don't let pain transform itself into fear. Instead of retreating from the world, grab it by the tail and hang on. Treat each failure and mistake as a lesson, and move forward with confidence, and the knowledge that you won't have to make that mistake again.

#5: Negative World View

Get in a quiet mode occasionally and observe the thoughts going on in your mind. Make note of how often you think negatively about things around you, and how harshly you judge other people. Don't wrap yourself up with all the negativities of the world. In building self esteem, we must learn how to make the best out of whatever situation we find ourselves in.

#6: Determination Theory

The way you think and your behavior are said to be the product of your inherited traits, your upbringing, and the environment around you, such as your family, your job, the economy, or your circle of friends. You have your own identity and can determine your own path in life. Just because your father is a failure or your siblings are nasty people, it doesn't mean you have to be that way also. Learn from other people's experience, so you'll never have to make the same mistakes.

Being positive, and staying positive is a choice. Building self esteem and striving for self improvement are lifestyle preferences that you can choose to make. You don't need anyone's permission to live the type of life you want. You are free to decide your own fate, and whether you choose to be happy or not.

So take responsibility for your life and work on that self esteem. It will allow you take control of the fear you may feel before making a big decision or beginning a new project. It is truly the path to self improvement and self determination.

Develop an armor of invincibility to fend off the negativity of the world. Do your best to be positive, contented, and happy. No one can run your life better than you. Taking control of your self esteem is a major step in the right direction.

A healthy level of self esteem is important to help us achieve what we want in our lives. In the Self Help Section of Mental Well-Being.com, you'll find ways of reprogramming your mind with a self confidence and self help mindset, so that you can get what you REALLY want out of life. Ernie Reynolds is the webmaster of Mental Well-Being.com, a website dedicated to your health and happiness, with information and advice on hypnosis, mental health, meditation, spirituality, financial well-being, fitness, self improvement, weight loss, and other topics of interest.

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Is Freedom Of Choice Really Free?

by donyates22

The Inner Self And Free Will.

Are we as humans, free to select our goals, determine our future and correct our faults? Considering that we are part of a larger mental and emotional whole within a society, consisting of cultures, and environment of laws, do we as individuals have the ability to control and change ourselves as well as alter our surroundings? Is our surroundings akin to a lake and we are simply a drop of water amongst trillions of other drops?

The Question Of Life.

This is an important question because if our lives are totally determined by our environment, than we are simply creatures of conditions. If we are intelligent beings who are able to decipher the laws of history, society, and politics then we should also understand our position and avoid situations that could potentially harm us or others. The fact is, most people don't understand political ambitions and actions and are unable to evaluate their potential. If we could discern the roots of evil, would we then, prevent it?

The Laws Of The Land.

The problem is, we are subjected to the laws of the land and our experience is in how well we are able to control them. Control comes from planning and planning stems from a well structured mind.

Creating A Future.

If we are indeed able to alter and create our future, would we then, create a world of peace and tranquility? But that is not the case, we clearly are only able to partially manipulate that which directly effects ourselves. We are able to control that which projects from within but not that which is external. We are beings that perceive life from the inside out, while the world sees us from the outside in.

The Inner Self.

What is our self? Our inner being or me that perceives the world and deciphers our experience. Our self is continuous in time as a force that recognizes its own position. The self is manifest through natural observation which is our psychological makeup. Our perception of events are limited and determined through our life experiences. Each experience piled upon the other, makes up a total lifespan.

Our Inner Self Has Several Features.

First. is the personality or ego, which is ourselves receiving and judging the world. It also organizes and controls our mental activities.

Second. is the realization of self-potential which controls self-esteem, goal setting and self analysis. We also are accountable for our actions upon others.

Third. is the superego, which sets the rules that guide the self as well as other attributes such as abilities and temperaments involving self limitations and motivation for achieving goals.

Fourth. is freedom of choice. Our self has the power to exert conscious control over our actions, excises, options, reasoning, feelings of worth and prods the itself into action.

Fifth. Willpower. Our willpower gives us the power to reject, concepts, reality, decipher right from wrong, and self-realization.

Freedom Of Choice.

Freedom of choice is, in itself a natural power, and attribute of self but are we, as humans, really free to choose? Essentially, freedom is the ability of the individual to choose or create his/her own actions. Free choice is enacted upon demand and enables us to deal directly with any given problem but environment plays a heavy role in our choice process.

Creating Choices.

If we have free choice then are we able to create our choices? We can and do originate choices but at the same time we are subject to others actions\choices. We can, however, choose to reject or accept others choices.

The Question Of Influence.

There is always the question of influence swaying our choice and therefore the choice was not really free. A solution to this phenomenon would to unite both freedom and necessity to accomplish the best end. Logic would dictate the correct avenue to take in most choices. Each choice should be assessed for its value and potentiality as it contributes to our future. As a free will self with the gift of choice, we are free to avoid conditions and progress towards that which might be.

Happy Trails

About the Author

“Former Development coordinator for Imperial Research, author, Spiritual Adviser, Donald Yates is now retired but continues to expand through Self Discovery. Learn how you can also. Go to.”

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Wisdom of Our Soul

by jkhbraveheart

Not too long ago, I was living in a world outside of myself. Happiness eluded me and I mostly felt scattered and lost. Today, I live from the inside out. Joy is a constant in my life and I’ve become a woman who is grounded, purposeful and full of gratitude!

What made the difference?

I use to always look outside of myself for my happiness. I thought if someone could just tell me what I’m supposed to do with my life then I could be happy and fulfilled. When the answers I received from various voices of all types of people didn’t feel right to me, then I went shopping!

After years of frustration and confusion and when my shopping sprees no longer sufficed, I finally gave in to this prodding yet gentle and loving voice within me that had been patiently trying to get my attention for so long! That’s when I realized I had been missing out on the most important voice of all, the voice of my soul.

Are you listening to the guidance of your soul?
Whether you realize it or not, your soul is speaking to you right now and is the one voice that will always feel right to you. Your soul is always seeking to guide you on your journey and your soul speaks to you through your dreams, flashes of insight and most of all through that deep inner voice within. Are you paying attention?

All the answers to everything we seek are within us! However, we live in a world filled with unlimited distractions and most of us have a mind full of ceaseless chatter. It’s no wonder I use to be oblivious to my soul’s guidance! I remember how excited I was when I became aware of this powerful voice. Then the question arose, ‘how do I quiet my mind and become still long enough to connect with my soul so I could receive this valuable information and wisdom’?

Here are 3 ways that can assist you to live from the inside out:

1 – Meditation. This wonderful practice has become my daily morning ritual. It requires discipline, consistency and patience and it is so worth it! With repetition, you’ll find that you expand your consciousness and become more aware of the guiding voice of your soul.

2 – Spiritual Hypnosis. This is a process where the hypnotist guides you into a deep meditative state of profound relaxation, and through a powerful visualization technique assists you to invite your soul in where you can ask questions and receive guidance.

3 – Subconscious Programming. Now here’s a simple yet powerful method you can begin using today to program your subconscious mind to recognize when your soul is speaking to you.

In a special notebook, write in cursive (a right brain activity) positive declarations of what you want to create. The best time to do this is when your subconscious mind is naturally most open to suggestion, which is right before you sleep at night. For lasting results, write these declarations every night for 30 days.

Here are some examples to get you started:

I am open and receptive to the guidance from my Soul.

I intuitively know when my Soul is speaking to me.

I am grateful that my Soul always guides me in the right direction.

The best gift I ever gave myself was learning to become still and open to the voice of my soul. I encourage you to incorporate these practices into your daily routine. Imagine your reward: You will always be guided in the right direction by the wisest voice of all, the voice of your soul!

About the Author

Businesswoman, Friend, Collaborator, and Team player, Amy Huentelman fulfills her Entrepreneurial Calling by offering a great service that enriches the lives of others. Together with other fellow BraveHeart Community members, her goal is to empower Women to be multi-dimensional success stories and inspiration to others. Be Sure to Visit: Be a BraveHeart Woman

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How to get over jealousy?

by online expert

Jealousy is a poisonous feeling which has the potential to ruin a relationship. Often you may not even realize the fact that you are jealous by mistaking it for possessiveness or a sign of deep love. Feeling jealous occasionally is understandable but when it starts stalking your relationship and becomes the root cause of almost all your arguments, it becomes hazardous not just for your own health but also the health of your relationship.

How to figure out that your jealousy is potentially hazardous?

If you see your partner talking to someone else, does your imagination run into overdrive?

Do you feel inadequate compared to other women/men?

Have you become a slave to your negative thinking, often visualizing your partner cheating on you?

Are you constantly comparing yourself with other people?

Do you often accuse your partner of cheating on you or lying?

If the answer to any of these questions is yes, your jealousy has turned toxic. However, it’s not too late. Once you realize that jealousy is a problem and decide to overcome it; you can make a fresh start and find happiness in your relationship.

Causes of Jealousy

Low self-esteem

Jealousy is the offspring of low self esteem. You feel jealous of others when you feel that you lack the qualities that others have. Jealousy makes you concentrate on your flaws and overlook your positive attributes. The reasons for low self-esteem are generally rooted in one’s past.

Resentment

Resenting other people their good fortune, looks or mannerisms leads to a feeling of burning jealousy. Resentment means blaming life, God or your luck (whatever you believe in) for your lack of something. It means an inability to take self-responsibility. Prolonged resentment can make you a bitter person, stuck in the abyss of jealousy.

Fear of abandonment arising from the past

Sometimes past hurts leave such a deep impression on our subconscious that we are unable to let go of the associated hurtful memories. Incidents or events of childhood especially are responsible for shaping our behavior. For instance, a child who loses his/her parent(s) at an early age or is witness to his/her parents’ divorce is more likely to grow up with a fear of abandonment. These children may come to terms with their situation after a few years, but somewhere within, the fear of abandonment keeps gnawing at them. Such individuals tend to be extremely jealous in relationships.

How to overcome jealousy?

Positive affirmations

Positive affirmations can go a long way in forming and strengthening new self beliefs. Whatever you hear about yourself repeatedly becomes your belief. For instance if you have always been told that you are fat, no matter how thin you are you'll start seeing yourself as fat. Similarly if you tell yourself repeatedly that you are a happy and secure person, with time, it will become your belief. Make up your own affirmations or practice the following in front of a mirror everyday:

“I love and accept myself the way I am”

“I feel secure and happy in all my relationships”

“I trust life to bring the best to me”

“I love myself and release all my hurtful past memories”

Hypnosis

Sometimes your past hurt maybe so deep rooted that you might require professional help to release your traumatic memories. Clinical hypnosis may be helpful is some cases. If you do decide to undertake this therapy a trained practitioner can induce a hypnotic state and delve into your subconscious mind. All your past memories whether you remember them consciously or not are filed somewhere in your subconscious. The therapist will be able to access these memories, bring you face to face with them and help you release all the associated negative feelings.

Psychotherapy

You can also opt for psychotherapy or psychoanalysis. A trained psychologist or psychiatrist can help you understand your feelings and emotions and help you overcome your jealousy with counseling, therapeutic modalities, and sometimes medication.

Once you learn to let go of jealousy you will realize how fulfilling and loving your relationship can be. Remember, blaming someone’s actions or behavior for your jealousy or resentment would mean giving up the power to transform your life. The moment you admit that you have a problem you also admit that you have the power to get rid of it.

Want more tips on how to overcome jealousy? Have a comment or question you'd like to share? Come join others at Boomer Yearbook for simple and effective coaching tips and strategies.

www.boomeryearbook.com is a social networking site connecting the Baby Boomer generation. Share your thoughts, rediscover old friends, or expand your mind with brain games provided by clinical psychologist Dr. Karen Turner. Join today to discover the many ways we are helping Boomers connect for fun and profit.

For-

www.boomeryearbook.com

www.boomeryearbook.com is a social networking site connecting the Baby Boomer generation. Share your thoughts, rediscover old friends, or expand your mind with brain games provided by clinical psychologist Dr. Karen Turner. Join today to discover the many ways we are helping Boomers connect for fun and profit.

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What's Your Passion And How Can You Apply It To The Real World

by DianeCorriette

'Reduce your workload by 30% and increase your fun load by 30% and you will increase your revenues by 100%. More fun, less struggle. More results on all fronts.' Abraham-Hicks

I remember being asked this question years ago and it took me a long time to finally express my passion for writing because I really didn't think that anything I wrote would really impact people. Once I began writing articles and receiving emails from people who had read them and enjoyed them I knew I had to overcome my insecurities and reach out for moments of brilliance because in those moments I write my best work :)

We all have a passion for something and we do not always have to save the world or make it a deep far reaching impact kind of passion. You can put all of your passion into raising healthy, well rounded, loving children who are ready to live their life according to what they are passionate about. Or you can choose to take in damaged and abandoned animals giving them a loving home where they can flourish and overcome their fears/hurt.

Having a passion helps to take you out of any concerns, fears and worries you may have and place you into a place of joy and 'in the moment' living because when you are truly engrossed in a passion you forget everything and every one around you!

In all my years of coaching when I listened to someone in the workplace talk about why their performance is failing fast I always knew it wasn't whatever reason they presented. They had convinced themselves that the reason they were not getting as much done, or hitting their targets was become of something related to their job.

However I knew something different! Because living your passion doesn't mean you have to give up your job. I have a passion for dancing but being a dance teacher or a professional dancer at 41 is definitely out of my reach... I am a realist after all. But just being able to go out and dance, whether it was to salsa, in a club, to African drumming music... whatever I was dancing to I didn't care just as long as I got to dance. Dancing brings me a sense of joy that cannot be matched by anything, it makes me laugh, and provides me with some exercise.

Dancing is one of my greatest loves, my biggest passions (next to writing) and I give thanks every day for being able to get up and shake my thang!

If your passion involves helping others this has a wonderful effect not only on the people you help but on your life, especially during times of uncertainty. When life is not working the way we feel it should be it's very easy to get caught up in the whirlwind of not knowing what to do and trying to fix the problem. When your passion involves you helping others it gives you some time away from your own problems and in those moments, when we are not focusing on what's wrong, it is easier to find solutions.

Whenever I meet an under performing employee my first task would always be to identify what their passion is and how they can apply that to the real world to actual benefit not only themselves but also other people. Everyone has a passion, even those people who believe they really do not and all it takes is the willingness to look at what it could be.

Of course a few clients went on to leave their job and actually live their passion - which I always love to see happen because none of us should be doing anything we are not 100% passionate about (not even for the money!) But the majority found a new lease of life, a new sense of purpose that changed their perspective.

When you have something in your life you are truly passionate about life becomes a joy. It doesn't matter how much work you have to deal with, what your colleagues are like, if you are worried about money, whether your children are driving you crazy... in fact what you find is that all of that stuff seems to 'magically' change yet nothing has really changed except your outlook on life!

So please take the time to discover your passion especially if you find yourself in a place where you are fearful about the future or uncertain about what to do next and allow it to give you some 'me time' because during those moments we can receive our greatest answers to whatever questions we may have.

Write if you love to, paint if you love to, walk for miles if you love to, make plans to visit a different part of the world every six months. Do whatever you have to, to ensure that every day you have something to look forward to, something that fills you with passion and makes your soul sing with joy.

About the Author

Diane Corriette is a Personal Growth Coach who works with women to help them re-connect to passion and purpose. You can read her perspective on all things transformational at Inspirational Guidance http://www.inspirationalguidance.com.

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The Agony and the Ecstasy of Saying No

by Denise Ryan

Most of us women have a hard time saying no. It's one of those things we over think. We worry about how the other person will feel - will we hurt their feelings? Will they feel rejected? We even take into account society at large - will we seem like a bad person? We wind up saying yes when what we really want to say is no. Sometimes hell no.

I'm terrible at this. It's hard for me to tell a man I've just had a first date with, when he hopefully says, "Would you like to go out again?", no. I don't want to crush him. I'll do anything not to have to tell him no to his poor, hopeful face. But I don't want to lie or lead him on. Usually I weasel out by saying, "Why don't you call me and we'll see?" or something similarly lame. It's the hope in their voices. Oh how I hate to crush hope.

When people ask me to do something I am usually honored that they want me to come to their baby shower, their child's birthday party, or whatever. I know they think the event will be fun. I also think my single status sometimes freaks people out and they think being alone is a sad, pathetic thing. How can I tell them that sitting with a group of strangers and celebrating something I could care less about is far, far worse than being in my own house doing my own thing? I love my house, my TV, my work, my books, my snacks! Whee!!!!! I don't have to pretend to be nice to people I don't like and I can leave anytime I want. I don't have to put on make-up or panty hose. I love the freedom of it.

So how can we all get better at saying no?

1.) Man up. I completely admire men's ability to say no. They just say it - they don't offer excuses or rationalizations. They simply say no. They are non-emotional in the saying of the no. It's not mean. They simply consider the offer and if it's something they don't want to do they say no. Forget Freud's penis envy, I have "no" envy. Next time you need to say no, say it like a man.

2.) Say yes to you. Why am I putting other people's comfort above my own? Why am I worried about how they might feel when I know how I will feel if I say yes? I will feel obligated to do something I don't want to. I will be unhappy. Saying no to them is saying yes to me. It is my time and I deserve to spend it in the way I want.

3.) Get over yourself. I have to tell myself that these events are not going to be impacted that much by my attendance. Who do I think I am? Paris Hilton? Barack Obama? Madonna? Why am I acting like the baby shower or birthday or whatever will be impacted that much by my absence? They will not miss me.

4.) Say it soon. I delay. I panic in the heat of the moment. I tap dance. I smile. I say let me check my calendar. Then I go home once I've recovered from the shock of the ask and figure out how to get out of it. The sooner no is said the better. Men would rather hear immediately if you don't want to see them again then work up all the nerve for another call. Your hostess would rather know now than after she's planned the food.

5.) Refuse guilt. Some people will ask you to things that you can't afford or that are inappropriate or that you just don't want to do. Sometimes when you say no you may feel guilty or they may try to make you feel guilty. NO! Step away from the guilt. You want help with this? Imagine yourself spending the money for the gift or the new outfit or the travel or whatever. Imagine the time you will spend dreading the event, traveling to the event, at the event. Imagine actually sitting there for those hours, making small talk, smiling, laughing at stupid jokes, dying to escape. What is worse - all of that or a little guilt? It's your life, spend it how you want. Guilt is for suckers.

6.) More help with guilt. If you say yes, when you really want to say no, no one is going to appreciate it. They are going to think you really wanted to be there. They think the baby shower, wedding, birthday party is fun. They think you had nothing better to do (obviously or why would you be there?). So if they don't really appreciate this great sacrifice, why make it? To twist the words of Eleanor Roosevelt, no one can make you feel guilty without your permission. Don't give it to them.

Just remember - saying no to what you don't want is saying yes to what you do want.

Denise Ryan, MBA, is a Certified Speaking Professional, a designation of excellence held by less than 10% of all professional speakers. She is a blogger http://motivationbychocolate.blogspot.com
Her website is http://www.firestarspeaking.com where you can see more articles and sign up for a free newsletter.

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3 step Happy Manifesting Technique

by Patrick Jones

The 3 step Happy Manifesting technique combines mind power and imagination to attract happy, delightful, and fortunate experiences into your daily life in a way that appears to be magic. It is an intermediate to advance level exercise utilizing the law of attraction. The Happy Manifesting technique is easy to use and can be applied immediately. From completion of reading this article, you will be one step closer to manifesting like a King. Proceed to step one.

1. Intend it

In order to do something, first intend it. In this case, you desire to have complete happiness so one must intend it first. I'm going to share with you a simple but yet powerful "happy" manifesting technique that I use daily that creates tremendous results. It triggers something in you like magic, that allows you to feel happy no matter what. Here's a little manifesting exercise. Immediatelly after waking up in the morning, take three deep breaths while focusing on the rising and falling of your chest. Then immediately imagine exactly that you're already at the end of your day and you're jumping up and down with excitement because you had a splendid and wonderful day. Then observe the feeling of excitement that arises. Become one with that feeling untill you naturally desire to let it go from your mind. When you let it go from your mind, do it completely. It would definately help if you already have something else to focus on immediately after letting go in advance. So when you let go, you can immediately focus on something else and give it your full attention, so that you don't consciously get in the way. This exercise works best when performing it without judging it or judging yourself in the process. I apply this exercise daily and it works wonders for me and everyone who believes in it. The key word in the previous sentence is Believe. After performing this exercise, just do what you naturally desire to do for the rest of the day. I won't even try to explain what you'll uniquely experience throughout the day because the possibilities are infinite. I guarantee you 110% success when applied correctly!

To give this manifesting technique a super boost, without judging the process, write down the first 3 things that make you happy as fast as possible immediately Before starting this exercise.

2. Only do what you Feel like doing

Only do what you desire or whatever you feel like doing. Be aware that there is nothing you Have to do and there's nothing you Need to do to be happy. For the rest of the day, replace whatever you think you need or have to do with the desire to do it. Even if you don't naturally desire to do it, just pretend without judgement. Now, just imagine yourself feeling excited upon completion of that desire, then let it go from your mind and focus on something else. One must trust in this process to experience the fruit from it. Only do what you feel like or what you naturally desire to do. That is the way of KINGS!

3. Focus completely in the moment

Whenever you're in action of doing whatever you naturally desire, give it your full attention. The results of your desires are more fruitful when given full concetration. The beautiful thing is, whenever you're doing something you naturally desire, you automatically and naturally give it enough concentration for it to fulfill itself because it's something you naturaly feel like doing. Combine these three steps daily. Master this technique. Here's a little bonus for you: A quick and simple way of mastering it is, Imagine in your head that you've already performed this excersise before, and that it was super easy to implement, then let it go. The Happy Manifesting Technique is a guaranteed and proven exercise. It can also be tweeked and used to create abundance. Good luck!

Like many, I hope you found this article useful. Learn to manifest like a King and get your Free "Matrix of Mind" ebook here

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